Understanding Grief Styles: How Personality Shapes the Way We Mourn

Ultimately it is [the] identification, validation, and exploration of their pattern of grief or adaptive grieving styles that grieving individuals will find empowering and that will allow them to deal with that loss on their own terms, with their own unique strengths. ~ Kenneth J. Doka, PhD

When someone we love dies, we expect grief to bring us closer together. But often, the opposite happens.

One person cries openly, needing to talk through every memory and emotion. Another stays quiet, focusing on tasks, logistics, or simply “getting through” each day. One may appear overwhelmed, while the other seems distant or unaffected. Misunderstandings take root. Feelings get hurt. And in the midst of loss, relationships can become strained.

What many people don’t realize is this: grief doesn’t look the same for everyone—and it’s not supposed to.

From Grief to Giving: Finding Healing and Purpose Through Volunteering

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late . . . the love of our neighbor in all its fullness simply means being able to say to him, 'What are you going through?' ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Depending on where you are in your grief journey, there may come a time when you feel the need to channel your pain—and the time and energy once devoted to your loved one—into something meaningful. For many, that path takes the form of volunteering.

Bearing Witness: The Healing Power of Seeing a Loved One After Death

People who suddenly lose a spouse or a child to murder, suicide or an accident often benefit from being allowed to see the dead person’s body, even if it’s bruised or starting to decompose, a new investigation finds.  ~ Science News

A reader writes: I have spent hours reading your articles and books, and I am just about to order another one for my son on the death of a sibling.

I don’t know if you remember me, but you helped me in a profound way last June. You gave me immediate guidance regarding my son, who had gone missing at sea following a climbing accident. He was 26 and had nearly qualified as a doctor.

Surviving A Spouse's Suicide: Coping with Guilt, Grief, and Blame

There are always two parties to a death; the person who dies and the survivors who are bereaved.   ~ Arnold Toynbee

A reader writes: I lost my husband to suicide last year and I am trying to cope. I am trying to move on, but I cannot do this alone anymore. I feel responsible, because he asked me to say something I could not say, and subsequently hanged himself. I feel so much remorse, guilt, pain, and it won't stop. I continually have thoughts to go to him. I am losing it by the day and don't understand what's happening to me. I need contact of some kind to know he is okay and does not blame me. I know we are all responsible for our own choices, but "yes" instead "no" would have made the difference in whether he was living today. I know this to be true. I don't know where to turn and am hoping you can save my life.