Understanding Grief Styles: How Personality Shapes the Way We Mourn

Ultimately it is [the] identification, validation, and exploration of their pattern of grief or adaptive grieving styles that grieving individuals will find empowering and that will allow them to deal with that loss on their own terms, with their own unique strengths. ~ Kenneth J. Doka, PhD

When someone we love dies, we expect grief to bring us closer together. But often, the opposite happens.

One person cries openly, needing to talk through every memory and emotion. Another stays quiet, focusing on tasks, logistics, or simply “getting through” each day. One may appear overwhelmed, while the other seems distant or unaffected. Misunderstandings take root. Feelings get hurt. And in the midst of loss, relationships can become strained.

What many people don’t realize is this: grief doesn’t look the same for everyone—and it’s not supposed to.

When A Grieving Friend Refuses Offers of Support

One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and be understood.  ~ Seneca

A reader writes: I am hoping you can advise me what to do. I have a very dear and close friend whose brother died of suicide a month ago. This was his only sibling. He had to go identify the body and had to come home to a hysterical wife and barely functioning parents. As far as I know he has cried very little if at all. He and I haven't been able to discuss anything at all. My husband and I did everything we could to help the family with things. The problem is now though he will not call anymore and he has pulled away emotionally. He is saying things to me that I would say are hurtful. I have been trying to keep in touch with him, but now he says we are not compatible. I really want to help him through this very tough time. Do I step back and give him space or what do I do??? I am hoping you can give me some guidance. Thank you.

In Grief: When A Friend Pulls Away

A reader writes: I am hoping you can advise me what to do. I have a very dear and close friend whose brother died of suicide a month ago. This was his only sibling. He had to go identify the body and had to come home to a hysterical wife and barely functioning parents. As far as I know he has cried very little if at all. He and I haven't been able to discuss anything at all. My husband and I did everything we could to help the family with things. The problem is now though he will not call anymore and he has pulled away emotionally. He is saying things to me that I would say are hurtful. I have been trying to keep in touch with him, but now he says we are not compatible. I really want to help him through this very tough time. Do I step back and give him space or what do I do??? I am hoping you can give me some guidance. Thank you.  Read on here >>>

How We Mourn: Understanding Our Differences

When someone we love dies, we expect grief to bring us closer together. But often, the opposite happens.

One person cries openly, needing to talk through every memory and emotion. Another stays quiet, focusing on tasks, logistics, or simply “getting through” each day. One may appear overwhelmed, while the other seems distant or unaffected. Misunderstandings take root. Feelings get hurt. And in the midst of loss, relationships can become strained.

What many people don’t realize is this: grief doesn’t look the same for everyone—and it’s not supposed to.  Read on here >>>