Bearing Witness: The Healing Power of Seeing a Loved One After Death

People who suddenly lose a spouse or a child to murder, suicide or an accident often benefit from being allowed to see the dead person’s body, even if it’s bruised or starting to decompose, a new investigation finds.  ~ Science News

A reader writes: I have spent hours reading your articles and books, and I am just about to order another one for my son on the death of a sibling.

I don’t know if you remember me, but you helped me in a profound way last June. You gave me immediate guidance regarding my son, who had gone missing at sea following a climbing accident. He was 26 and had nearly qualified as a doctor.

In Grief: Should Young Children Attend a Funeral?

When deciding whether your child should attend a funeral or memorial service, age is not the most important consideration. Your child is part of the family, and as grief expert Dr. Alan Wolfelt wisely observes, children who are old enough to love are old enough to grieve.

No child is too young to attend a funeral, provided that the child is prepared for what will happen and what he or she will see at the funeral home, and is lovingly guided through the process. Shutting children out makes them feel alone and conveys the idea that death and grief are too horrible to be faced. Children need to learn that special, loved people do die—but also that there will always be somebody there to take care of them.

Traumatic Loss: Needing To View The Body

A reader writes: I have spent hours reading over your articles and books, and I am just about to order another book for my son on the death of a sibling.

I don’t know if you remember me, but you helped me in a massive way last June. You gave me instant advice regarding my son who had gone missing in the sea following a climbing accident.

He was 26 and had almost qualified as a doctor.

My son had been deep water soloing when he disappeared, and although large-scale searches were started, there was little hope of finding him alive. Two weeks later we were informed that his body had been found, but the the coroner informed me that I wouldn’t be able to see him, as I desperately wanted to do. He told me he wouldn’t advise my seeing him in his condition, as his body had been in the sea for two weeks. He said he was not recognizable. He suggested that we go ahead and make funeral arrangements. Read on here >>>

When Children Attend A Funeral: Some Preparation Tips

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In Grief: Should Young Children Attend a Funeral?

At what age should children attend a funeral? 
When deciding whether your child should attend a funeral or memorial service, age is not the most important consideration. Your child is part of the family, and as grief expert Dr. Alan Wolfelt wisely observes, children who are old enough to love are old enough to grieve.

No child is too young to attend a funeral, provided that the child is prepared for what will happen and what he or she will see at the funeral home, and is lovingly guided through the process. Shutting children out makes them feel alone and conveys the idea that death and grief are too horrible to be faced. Children need to learn that special, loved people do die—but also that there will always be somebody there to take care of them.  Read on here >>>

Explaining Death to Children

Source

[Reviewed and updated October 19, 2025]

Any child old enough to love is old enough to mourn. ~ Alan D. Wolfelt

If this is your family’s first experience with death, you may be wondering how and even whether to include your children in the rituals of grief and mourning for the special person who has died. You may have many questions about how best to meet your children’s needs at such a sad and difficult time. In this first in a series of posts on this topic, I hope to help you answer some of those questions.

Quite simply, what your children need most from you is honesty. They need accurate, factual information and freedom to ask their questions and express their feelings. Whenever possible, they need to be included in decisions, discussions and family commemorative rituals. They need stable, consistent attention from their caretakers. And like the adults around them, they need time to explore and come to terms with the meaning of their loss.