Thursday, June 24, 2010

After Death Communication

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[Reviewed and updated August 2, 2023]

Of all the various ways that grief can express itself, perhaps one of the most unsettling is to experience the presence of a lost loved one some time after the death has occurred.  When one so dear to us is gone, it can be very hard to accept that the individual is really dead.  We may think about and dream about our beloved much of the time, and it may seem as if everything around us is a reminder of the one we have lost.  Sometimes we may think we've seen, heard or been touched by the individual--or even that we've received a symbolic communication or message from the one who has died, in the form of a meaningful signal or a vivid dream that appears very real.  Some people find this to be very frightening and disorienting, while others find it to be quite helpful and even comforting. Known as an ADC, or after-death communication, such a mystical experience is by no means abnormal, nor does it forecast a complicated grief reaction.  While some may find them distressing, it is generally believed that such mystical experiences have great power and personal significance for the mourner and may be an important, if not vital, part of healing.

Nowadays grief counselors are encouraged to support, enable and empower grief-stricken individuals to maintain their loving connections with their deceased loved ones. In the official newsletter of the Association for Death Education and Counseling, for example, licensed grief counselor Jane Bissler advocates for parents needing to maintain a bond with their child who has died, and calls upon bereavement professionals to include this in our practice. "Helping these bereaved parents to know the significance of continuing bonds is our new responsibility," she writes. "Nor is it enough for them to know about it. It is imperative that they also be taught how to create a new relationship with their child rather than letting it go." ("My Child Has Died, and So Have I! Grieving the Loss of An Adolescent Child," The Forum, January 2009).

In a study reported in OMEGA—Journal of Death and Dying (Volume 59, Number 2 / 2009), researchers examined subjects’ accounts of post-death encounters and their positive effects on the bereaved. Their findings: The encounters profoundly affected the participants’ beliefs in an afterlife and attitudes toward life and death, and had a significant effect on their grief. Finally, post-death encounters had a healing effect on the participants by contributing to a sense of connectedness with the deceased. We conclude that health care professionals and counselors should be educated about post-death encounters so that the bereaved can share their experiences in a supportive and understanding atmosphere.

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© by Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT, BC-TMH


  1. My husband died Dec of 09. Two days prior we broke the front door trying to get a stair master in the front door. The kitchen doorbell will ring and no one is there, the same with the broken doorbell. I have tried to see if someone is using a romote control for their garage, to blow on it thinking it might be the wind...Nothing will make it work but I know that it will ring a different lingering weak ring although someone were leaning against it.

    This often happens in moments of intense grief and sobbing meltdowns. But will also happen when I am missing him thinking of the Great Love that we once had. Being grateful to have had that kind of love at all. It will ring them too. This and many other signs such as more rainbows this year than I have seen in the past 10 years, Butterflies, birds all things trying to get my attention and really begin to appreciate life to smile a genuine smile. Oh I feel that he not only watches over me but is amused and proud of my progress...

  2. Bless your heart ~ and thank you so much for sharing your experiences with all of us. It's amazing what we notice when we are paying attention! I've no doubt that your beloved is watching over you and is very proud of you, too ♥

  3. I didn't believe in after death communication until now. My boyfriend which is part of my soul, passed away in Sept,14, 2011. I felt devastated for his loss. Then I began looking for sings of after death communication and I didn't get any signs. I used to be crying day and night with no hope. Then I asked my boyfriend to show up in my dreams and I have never dreamt of him. Then, something wonderful happened to me. I decided to buy a paranormal recorder to see if I could hear him, and guess what! I did! trust me this is not simple at all. I have done like 300 EVPs and I only heard him 3 times, but at least is something. First, I asked him if he still loves me and he Replied "I love you my love" wow it was his voice and he always used to tell me while alive, that same phrase. Then, while alive he always used to send me blessings so I told him to send me blessings and he replied with his same tone of voice "blessings" wow! I got so happy and I cried of happiness saying " thank you my love". Then I started thinking since the recordings wasn't so clear and I'm a little skeptic about the after life that maybe was my imagination. But, then I asking to say again clear and loud that if he still loves me as strong as here on earth and he replied " Can you hear me"? This recording was so loud and clear that everyone could hears it. Wow! Is he's voice!!! How can this happen to me! He sounds sweet and loving, I have never heard a EVP like mine. Others EVP sounds scary... conclusion, if you lost someone you loved, death is not the end but, a new beginning in the afterlife. They are waiting for us to join them, and they love us very much. :)

  4. I was a skeptic. 10 years in the military and 20 years as a policeman.

    My wife passed away at home at 0420 hrs. Peacefully with our daughter and myself there beside her. She had a brief and very vicious fight with breast cancer that had spread to her lungs, liver,bones and adrenal glands.

    3 minutes after she passed away the hot tap in our bedroom turned on. (we have lived here three years and that has never happened.). I told our daughter that her Mum was telling her she needed a shower.

    Her best friend arrived at about 0900 hrs, we had not yet informed her, she had received a voicemail on her telephone at 0500 hrs from an "unattached number" with a muffled voice simply saying "goodbye". She thought it was a crank call, deleted it and then thought maybe....... And eventually drove the 40 km to see us.

    The following morning, I couldn't sleep and was sitting in the living room with the deck doors open. Two pigeons started trying to fly into the house. We are in an isolated area and I have never seen pigeons ( the hawks eat them).

    Coincidence, I don't know. However it has given me comfort in the fact that I believe that my wife was saying her goodbye and letting us know that wherever she was, it was O.K.

    1. In my work with the bereaved, I hear stories like these all the time, and I'm so grateful to each of you for sharing yours here. Who is to say if these events are coincidences or not? What matters is that they bring us comfort ~ and when we are mourning a significant loss, we need all the comfort we can get ♥


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