Understanding and Managing Grief, May 22 - May 28, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Making the Most of Memorial Day, http://j.mp/22nSpdq « Grief Healing

A Light In the Dark - My Tribute to Soaring Spirits International, http://j.mp/1TJKjZe « Soaring Spirits International Blog

Brilliant: Pre-planning your Emotional Response to Death...Ain't it Precious? http://j.mp/1TJD182 « Soaring Spirits International Blog

Explaining Stillbirth to A Toddler

[Reviewed and updated July 8, 2022]

There is no footprint too small that cannot leave an imprint in this world.  ~ Author unknown

A reader writes: This might be a hard request but is there anything you would recommend for my 2 ½ year-old granddaughter who knows her 23-week-old born still brother "has gone away?" She was told Eden was too small to come home, and when asked "Where do you think Eden is?" she says "with the fairies and angels."

My response: I'm so sorry this has happened to you and your family, and my heart goes out to all of you. As a grandmother, you are coping not only with your own grief at the loss of this baby, but with the grief of your own child and that of your granddaughter as well. That is a heavy load to bear.

Explaining Death To A Toddler

Source

[Reviewed and updated December 8, 2024]

Genuine listening [where parents listen respectfully to their children] requires being prepared to make new discoveries and to share sorrow and fear. This is difficult at any time; it is most difficult when the parent is in grief.  ~ David Peretz, MD

A reader writes: Basically, everything I’ve ever read recommends that a toddler not be shielded from the truth, and I believe that. However, there is a set of special circumstances here. My daughter saw her grandmother every day since she was born, as my mother cared for her while I was at work. The care-giving stopped abruptly last year. That has been very hard to deal with, but my older children were victims of a terrible crime by her husband, and for my younger child’s safety, I had to stop my baby from seeing her grandmother because my mother refused to leave this man. We didn’t have any luck explaining that to a toddler.

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 1 - July 7, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• 10 Ways to Get Your Anger Out, http://buff.ly/OwZDrt | Esdeer
  
  
• Using Failure as Feedback When Mourning, http://j.mp/N4SsDC
  
  
• Useful article collection on Life After Loss, http://j.mp/LDyBLG ‪| Psychology Today
  
  
• Powerful message: Second Chances, http://j.mp/LT6uuQ ‪| Grief Digest Magazine
  
  
• Answer Coping After Bereavement‬ survey; receive free booklet, 5 Steps to Navigate Grief, ‪http://conta.cc/griefcoping3 | Storybooks for Healing

Voices of Experience: A Toddler in the World of Grief

Image Source

Harry Proudfoot lost his wife Jane to neuroendocrine tumor cancer (NET) in December, 2010. In the wake of that devastating loss, he decided the most effective way he could move through his grief was to go after with a vengeance the disease that killed his beloved. The result is his foundation, Walking with Jane, which you can read about here. Still, in the poignant piece he shares with us below, the author acknowledges his struggle to maintain his balance and stay on his feet as he continues learning to walk this difficult path of grief.  

At eighteen months a child is a toddler. The child walks, after a fashion, but sometimes--and for no apparent reason--falls on its butt. Sometimes the surprise induces laughter, sometimes tears. The child can speak, also after a fashion. It communicates in rudimentary words about the most basic of wants and needs--and tears and howls are still a major --though decreasing--part of the package.