Showing posts with label relinquishment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relinquishment. Show all posts

Pet Loss: Guilt Follows Adoption Mistake

Failure is the key to success; each mistake teaches us something.  ~ Morihei Ueshiba

A reader writes: Recently my husband and I bought a beautiful, 3-mo. old Shepherd/Rottweiler puppy. We brought her home and named her Jenny. From the first night it became apparent that we had made a mistake. We were not ready for the demands of a new puppy, nor could we agree on whether to keep her inside or outside (I say inside, my husband said out). We just bought our home, remodeled, and redecorated, and I was a nervous wreck at the thought of the puppy ruining the furniture.

Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, January 10 - January 16, 2021

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

During 63 years of marriage we were a couple and now it was just me, flying solo. What did I need to survive and thrive? Assembling My Grief Survival Kit: What's In Yours? « Open to Hope 

Public misperception is a barrier between patients and palliative care. Based on the true story of a nurse practitioner’s experiences with patients and families facing serious and terminal illnesses, this film depicts the patient-centered interdisciplinary care that so many seriously ill patients need.  Film ‘The Elephant in the Room’ Shines a Light on Palliative Care « Hospice News

Pet Loss: Relinquishment Leads to Unresolved Guilt

[Reviewed and updated June 12, 2022]

Every man is guilty of the good he did not do.  ~ Voltaire

A reader writes: I found your site quite by accident and felt I had to write. I am hurting and I don't know how to heal. I am a 60-year-old widow of seven years. My husband died of brain cancer. We had a good life for 23 years, and I was devastated when he died. Not only because of losing him, but there was no insurance, so I was penniless. I had a little Chihuahua named Pepper whom I loved dearly as well. She was such a sweetheart and gave me so much comfort.

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 20 - September 26, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Fear + anxiety = emotional unrest, which leads immediately to insomnia. The global pandemic has made restful sleep an uphill battle.  COVID Insomnia « Laurie Burrows Grad 

I am pleased to report that both the Grief Healing Blog and the Grief Healing Discussion Groups websites continue to be fully compliant with Health on the Net Foundation’s HONcode. Grief Healing Notified of HONcode Certification! « Grief Healing

Birth Grandparents and The Grief of Adoption Relinquishment

[Reviewed and updated February 18, 2024]

Whenever we allow a child to be adopted we are also saying to the parents of that child that we do not value their parenthood, because we are willing to eliminate their role and to provide their child with a new birth certificate, which allows the false assumption that they as parents did not exist. Most children have grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and often siblings. Adoption denies that those relationships exist. The denial involved in adoption devalues the entire family of origin. This is an insult to the child, to the parents of the child and to all other family members. How could we expect people not to be deeply hurt by such an experience? 
~ Evelyn Robinson, Adoption and Loss -- The Hidden Grief

Pet Loss: Why Surrender An Animal To A Shelter?

To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we let be with compassion, things come and go on their own.  ~Jack Kornfield

A reader writes: I have read that pet illness is one of the main reasons why owners decide to surrender their animal to a shelter. Can you provide any insight as to what it takes for an owner to get to that point? Are these owners less committed than other owners? Have fewer resources? One article recommended "defining your priorities and setting realistic goals". How can  a pet caretaker do this, in specific terms?

Coping with Pet Loss, July 2 - July 8, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What to Do When Your Dog is Lost, http://j.mp/2uLfwnp « TruDog®

Grief Healing: Pet Loss: When Guilt Goes Unresolved, http://j.mp/2uC5oNm « Grief Healing

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Pet Loss: Adoption Failure Leads to Relinquishment and Guilt

Beringer stealing my eyeglasses
Mistakes are the growing pains of wisdom. ~ William Jordan

A reader writes: Recently my husband and I bought a beautiful, 3-mo. old Shepherd/Rottweiler puppy. We brought her home and named her Jenny. From the first night it became apparent that we had made a mistake. We were not ready for the demands of a new puppy, nor could we agree on whether to keep her inside or outside (I say inside, my husband said out). We just bought our home, remodeled, and redecorated, and I was a nervous wreck at the thought of the puppy ruining the furniture.

Coping with Pet Loss, February 28 - March 5, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Man turns grief over loss of his dog into healing message: 'He's a soul extension,' http://j.mp/1SlOBXE « TODAY

Pet Loss: The Pain of Relinquishment, http://j.mp/1KXUh8X « Grief Healing

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.
If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Pet Loss: The Pain of Relinquishment

[Reviewed and updated September 9, 2025]

Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it. ~ Ann Landers

A reader writes: I have had lots of animals all my life, raised English setters and had lots of cats and farm animals. I am in the process of selling our farm, my husband retiring and we will be moving to a different area. We realized that we could not take our pets with us.

Selected Tweets, April 11 - 17

Recommended Reading, from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week,

On Caregiving and Hospice: 
  • Michael J. Fox: "Life gets really good when things get terrible" via PopEater.com http://bit.ly/9A5GgD

 On Understanding and Managing Grief:
On Pet Loss: