On A Personal Note

They’re funny things, Accidents. You never have them till you’re having them.  ~ A. A. Milne

To all my clients, colleagues, readers and visitors:

On the morning of Saturday, July 13, still feeling weak from the robotic hernia surgery I’d had 3 weeks earlier, I stood at my bedside helping my husband make our bed. In an instant and without warning, I suddenly lost my balance and fell to the floor. It was a hard fall onto my left side, and I knew immediately that something was seriously wrong. The pain was excruciating, and as I lay there unable and unwilling to move, my husband called for an ambulance. The EMTs got me onto a gurney, into their vehicle and on to the Emergency Department, where I was examined and evaluated.

Xrays revealed dislocation of the hip replacement hardware inside the bone, and fractures on both sides of my left femur, which would require admission to the hospital for surgery the next day, July 14.

Unresolved Guilt Following Accidental Pet Loss

Apologies aren't meant to change the past; they are meant to change the future.  ~ Kevin Hancock

A reader writes: I have been doing some research on a grief-related topic over the past few days, and stumbled across some of your blog posts, and find them rather encouraging and welcoming.

Around ten years ago, I inadvertently killed a cat while driving home from a class on a dark road. I later killed a deer that ran directly in front of my car. I have been unable to overcome the guilt in all that time, as I feel that I need to apologize to the cat's owner in order to properly move on (I've never found them). If I never find the owner, to whom should I directly apologize?

Pet Loss: When A Pet's Routine Surgery Goes Bad

[Reviewed and updated December 11, 2021]

If a cat spoke, it would say things like 'Hey, I don’t see the problem here.'  ~ Roy Blount Jr.

A reader writes: Three months ago, my dear cat passed away from cancer. I became very familiar with your online Loss of A Pet forum. It helped immensely. Now, I need advice.

I adopted two kittens shortly after my cat's death. They are now 20 weeks old -- got them at 9 weeks. Well, I took both of them in to get spayed and neutered. The neutering went fine, but one of my dear kittens is now blind.

Pet Loss: Negligence or Accident?

Source

[Reviewed and updated October 9, 2023]

Since human wisdom cannot secure us from accidents, it is the greatest effort of reason to bear them well.  ~ John Paul Jones

A reader writes: I read your piece on guilt but I still feel terrible. As I write this I am devastated by the loss of a baby lovebird. Only three hours ago I went to hand feed him and found he was gone. I had checked on him about an hour before that and he was sleeping. This little peach face delight was the only survivor from a clutch and what an unusual little bird he was. I started hand feeding him at only a few days old and I could see early on he was much different than any other baby I’ve ever raised. I have raised dozens over the years. This little one could perch and climb at a younger age than any youngster I ever had – and this is the root of my guilt.