Pet Loss: When Prolonged Grief Prevents Bonding With Another Dog

The bond with a dog is as lasting as the ties of this earth can ever be.   ~ Konrad Lorenz

A reader writes: I know this is seemingly weird but possibly you can help. I am a 37 year old male and I still cry at night sometimes. Here’s why. Three years ago my beloved Copper had to be put down due to cancer. I got him as a pup 13 years prior and for the first 3 years of his life it was just him and I. (We lived on a farm.) I got Copper to try and get through a very difficult time in my life and looking back if it was not for him I probably wouldn't be sending you this message.

Pet Loss: Still Mourning, 3 Years Later

The bond with a dog is as lasting as the ties of this earth can ever be.   ~ Konrad Lorenz

A reader writes: I know this is seemingly weird but possibly you can help. I am a 37 year old male and I still cry at night sometimes. Here’s why. Three years ago my beloved Copper had to be put down due to cancer. I got him as a pup 13 years prior and for the first 3 years of his life it was just him and I. (We lived on a farm.) I got Copper to try and get through a very difficult time in my life and looking back if it was not for him I probably wouldn't be sending you this message.

In Grief: When Dating Is Complicated

[Reviewed and updated January 29, 2023]

There's no limit to how complicated things can get, on account of one thing always leading to another.  ~ E.B. White

A reader writes: My husband of 20 years died  nearly two years ago. It was a second marriage for both of us. He was several years older than I. He had children and so did I. His death from esophageal cancer was a long and difficult one, and during the last part of his life I had some disputes with some of his grown kids over their not helping me to care for him. So after a year I went to a support group at my church with people who had lost spouses or someone close to them. I met a man there who had lost his girlfriend of eight years to breast cancer. Her death had happened only one month before, so things were still quite raw for him. He pursued me via phone calls and we have been seeing each other for the last eight months. About a month ago he started to have a lot of problems with the intimacy part of our relationship.

Coping with Pet Loss, September 11 - September 17, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What More Is There Possibly to Ask? http://j.mp/2cJMwXK « The Huffington Post

What this family physician learned from his dog, http://j.mp/2d16B9B « Kevin MD

Pet Loss: At My Age, Is It Selfish to Get Another Dog? http://j.mp/2cpa4gz « Grief Healing

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Pet Loss: At My Age, Is It Selfish to Get Another Dog?

Source

[Reviewed and updated December 2, 2025]

Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.  ~ Leroy "Satchel" Paige

A reader writes: My husband and I are both 74 and we have no children. So our pets become surrogate kids. My husband loved our dog but he seems to cope much better with her loss. He has health problems so much of her care fell on me. She was my friend! It has been three weeks now and I still feel sick when I think of her. I would like to get another dog but I am not sure what would be best. I am fairly active for my age and walked my golden retriever every day. Plus there is a park across from where I live where she was able to run. I am considering a sheltie. I just hope I am not being selfish getting another dog at my age.

Pet Loss: How Long Before Adopting Another?

Source

[Reviewed and updated November 9, 2023]

Through heartache and horror, joy and revelry, she was a companion. A comfort. A wonder in all her brilliance and empathy. She was a witness to my life, a thread of certain love and continuity. ~ Rachel Waters, Requiem For An Old, Gray Cat

A reader writes: How much time is enough to grieve between losing one pet and getting another?

My response: Many people worry that getting another pet too soon after losing the one they loved so much is somehow an act of disloyalty to the one who died – but like everything else in grief, that is a very individual matter and varies widely from one person to the next.

"Replacing" A Pet Who Has Died: When Is It Time?

Source

[Reviewed and updated November 9, 2023]

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. ~ C.S. Lewis

A reader writes: I can't believe that it has been almost a year since the passing of our beloved 19 year old cat Mittens. With your help and words of support I was able to cope much better and to this day I still feel the hurt of her loss. I still miss her so much. My wife and daughter want another cat but for some reason I feel as if I can't or I am not ready. I know she can never be replaced and she will always be in my heart. Maybe I am being selfish to my family and to another cat who would have a good home. I have a lot of mixed feelings and not sure what to do. Thank you for listening to me again and God bless you.

Coping with Pet Loss, July 18 - 24

From Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Is it disloyal to the one who died to want to get another dog? @WorldbytheTail: "I Want a New Dog, but Don't Want to Betray Bertie!" http://bit.ly/9odrJs 

• Ingrid King: What Not to Say to Someone Who Is Grieving The Loss of a Pet, http://bit.ly/9XCaEm 

• @Books_Heal_Kids: Sensitive story - Father and son bury a beloved dog, http://tinyurl.com/2bah2bd 

• @peternity: Help yourself to the next step in your grieving - Post a free online pet memorial http://tinyurl.com/d7fovg