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I question whether experiences of such severe loss can be quantified and compared. Loss is loss, whatever the circumstances. All losses are bad, only bad in different ways. No two losses are ever the same. Each loss stands on its own and inflicts a unique kind of pain. What makes each loss so catastrophic is its devastating, cumulative, and irreversible nature . . . So whose loss is worse, hers or mine? It is impossible to give an answer. Both are bad, but bad in different ways. ~ Jerry Sittser in A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows through Loss