Healing Through Story: Helping Children Understand Loss

There is no substitute for books in the life of a child.  ~ Mary Ellen Chase

Helping children understand death—and the powerful emotions that accompany any disappointment or loss—is not easy, especially when other family members may be grieving as well. When adults are struggling with major life events such as divorce, serious illness, an accident, fire, natural disaster, a crisis in the world, or the death of someone close, children can feel lost, frightened, and confused. In such circumstances, they need stable and consistent attention from their caregivers, accurate and factual information, and the freedom to ask questions and express their feelings. Like the adults around them, they need time to explore and come to terms with the meaning of their loss.

Memorial Day: Honoring Fallen Service Members and Their Families

[Reviewed and updated May 22, 2026]

They fell, but o'er their glorious grave /
Floats free the banner of the cause they died to save.
~ Francis Marion Crawford

Nearly four million men and women have served in the U.S. military over the last fifteen years, and more than half of them are married with children.
 
Originally designated as a day “to cherish tenderly the memory of our heroic dead,” Memorial Day is held on the last Monday of May each year. The holiday offers us a great opportunity to recognize and honor the sacrifice of these dedicated service members and their families.

Parent Loss: Keeping Memories Alive

Be keepers of the memories. If their song is to continue, then we must do the singing. ~ Elaine Stillwell

A reader writes: When I found out that no more could be done for my beautiful dad, I realized how lucky I was that I had no bridges to build with my father. When I needed him he was always there: always letting me know he loved me, guiding but not controlling me, watching but never judging me, holding but never smothering me—not necessarily agreeing with me but always listening, always hearing me. The bridge was always there. I realized that the knowledge of his illness gave us the most precious gift and I embraced it with all my heart: TIME!!

Grief Rituals Can Help on Special Days

We’ve barely caught our breath after enduring the holidays of November, December, and January, and now the stores are bursting with hearts, flowers, and candy—celebrating once again the gift of love.

But February 14 can be a difficult day for those of us who are grieving. For some, it will be the first Valentine’s Day since our precious Valentine died. For us, there is no celebration; there is only the grief that stems from absence and the pain of loss.  Read on here >>>

Unresolved Guilt Following Accidental Pet Loss

Apologies aren't meant to change the past; they are meant to change the future.  ~ Kevin Hancock

A reader writes: I have been doing some research on a grief-related topic over the past few days, and stumbled across some of your blog posts, and find them rather encouraging and welcoming.

Around ten years ago, I inadvertently killed a cat while driving home from a class on a dark road. I later killed a deer that ran directly in front of my car. I have been unable to overcome the guilt in all that time, as I feel that I need to apologize to the cat's owner in order to properly move on (I've never found them). If I never find the owner, to whom should I directly apologize?

In Grief: Coping with The Anniversary of A Loved One's Death

I have found in the years that have passed that I am most vulnerable at times of remembrance . . . If I get caught up in it, I quickly get pulled under and wind up gasping for breath. ~ Bill Jenkins

A reader writes: I am just 10 days away from the one year mark of my wife’s death, and the last few days have been horrible. I have that all-too-familiar feeling of dread in the pit in my stomach and I have a hard time concentrating on anything. I don’t know how to explain my mood to my seven-year-old son. All I would love to do is to go to sleep for those 10 days and wake up afterwards. I know that in this journey I am going to take some steps backwards and believe me the backwards steps are not as severe as in the beginning, but I just can’t stand feeling this way.

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 7 - January 13, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

When Naomi Judd died by suicide in 2022, after a long struggle with mental illness, her daughter Ashley found her. In this deeply moving, revealing, and insightful conversation Ashley Judd talks about the trauma she has worked hard to face, the grief she now feels, and how her mother’s spirit is still very much alive in her life. Anderson Cooper interviews Ashley Judd: Grief, Love and Naomi « All There Is With Anderson Cooper

In Grief: Mourning The Loss of A Dream

[Reviewed and updated November 4, 2025]

A reader writes: Seven years ago I fell in love with a wonderful man I met at work. Although we never dated, we spent many wonderful hours together talking about everything and nothing. We spent a year getting to know each other, and I fell more in love every day. After I was transferred to another department, I was sure we would spend a wonderful summer getting to know each other in a more romantic atmosphere. That never happened. He didn't return my calls or emails, and never spoke to me again. I was heartbroken and never understood why he dumped my like that. Since then I have married a wonderful man, who has been a great stepfather to my children and a wonderful husband. He loves me and supports me in all I do. 

          Last month I found out that my co-worker "love" of seven years ago had died in a one-car accident earlier this year. I feel like I'm going crazy!

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 7 - August 13, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

However painful, Michael Cholbi believes grief can be valuable for the person who grieves. Grief has a purpose: the various emotions one feels as bereavement unfolds are our way of attending to the many elements of our relationship with the deceased. Beyond the Pain: A Philosopher's Guide to Grappling with Grief « The Jewish Herald-Voice

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 8 - May 14, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

New research identifies key determinants of bereavement intensity. Understanding Grief in the Shadow of COVID-19 « Psychology Today 

If someone you love has died during the novel coronavirus pandemic, you have come to grief in an exceptionally challenging moment in history . . . These and other pandemic-related barriers to the cultural grief rituals we rely on may be making your grief journey especially painful. Ten Freedoms for Using Ceremony During The Pandemic « AfterTalk

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 3 - October 9, 2021

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Well after the intense grief of an immediate loss has faded, and you think you’ve moved on, something happens out of the blue to revive it. Coping with grief triggers « IOL

Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, August 29 - September 4, 2021

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:  

When my yellow Lab died last spring, I was flattened by an overwhelming sadness that’s with me still. And that’s normal, experts say, because losing a pet is often one of the hardest yet least acknowledged traumas we’ll ever face. How to Grieve for a Very Good Dog « Outside Online

In Grief: I Don't Understand The Process

When one person is missing the whole world seems empty.  ~ Pat Schweibert

A reader writes: My Mom died 2 days ago from Pancreatic Cancer. We hadn't seen each other since Christmas because of what now is something so trivial. Thankfully I'd written her letters and sent flowers on several occasions so I'm certain she knew that if anything I loved her.

It doesn't seem real. I cried my eyes out when I first learned of her death and then was distraught when my brother wouldn't let me see her body. I felt like I needed to see her to believe it. (He is a whole other dsyfunctional issue).

Pet Loss: Feeling Lost, Broken in Wake of Parents’ Euthanasia Decision

[Reviewed and updated July 19, 2020]

The heart will break, but broken live on.  ~ Lord Byron

A reader writes: My cat Susie was put down today by my parents. I had some reversals in my life and at 42 ended up having to live with my mom and her husband. I arrived with 2 cats and my mother immediately did not like the kitten and decided he needed to be sent to the pound. I ended up trying to kill myself that night for not being able to care for something I loved so much. I got good help and good medications and made it through.

Pet Loss: When Guilt Overshadows Grief

[Reviewed and updated October 9, 2023]

Grief is not as heavy as guilt, but it takes more away from you.  ~ Veronica Roth

A reader writes: My sister told me about you and your wonderful dedication to helping those suffering the loss of a furry companion. I thank you for your dedication and compassion that we can find in very few people with whom we come in contact on a day-to-day basis.  The guilt that I suffer right now, along with an intense sense of loss and sorrow, is not related to euthanasia or questions like, "Why am I feeling this way?"

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 21 - April 27, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Out of Grief Comes Faith, http://j.mp/2VnpsEs « The Grief Dialogues

Grief After Accidents, Suicide, and Other Sudden Losses, http://j.mp/2VuxStu « Crossroads

Why losing a dog can be harder than losing a relative or friend, http://j.mp/2KYWWEX « AfterTalk

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 27 - June 2, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The Nostalgia Plague, http://j.mp/2LRxJIX « Bryan C. Taylor

Truth in a Weedwacker, http://j.mp/2J6ESn0 « Soaring Spirits International

What is Holy, http://j.mp/2J3pXKk « Soaring Spirits International

Understanding and Managing Grief, November 12 - November 18, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

"Conversational Narcissism" ~ an excellent read on grief response: The Mistake I Made with My Grieving Friend, http://j.mp/2zU65pg « Oprah.com

Grief Is Good, http://j.mp/2iZZP7m « OptionB.Org

STOP! Read This Before You Post Another RIP on Social Media, http://bit.ly/2inAip5 « Grief Watch

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 28 - June 3, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grief Healing: Finding a Place of Hope - Interview, http://bit.ly/2rKV4p4 « Open To Hope

The Surprising Truth About Ritual and Grief, http://bit.ly/2rv88Ov « What's Your Grief?

Traumatic Loss: Needing To View The Body, http://bit.ly/2rfaGjq « Grief Healing

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Understanding and Managing Grief, December 4 - December 10, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Secondary Losses: Why Grief is So Hard and Lasts So Long, http://bit.ly/2gd35Jn « The Grief Toolbox

Patton Oswalt's Year Of Magical Parenting, http://bit.ly/2h0Fu2H « GQ

What Is A Life-Cycle Celebrant? Interview With Life-Cycle Celebrant Holly Pruett: Part 1, http://bit.ly/2g1pOMW « SevenPonds Blog