When a Teen Driver Carries the Weight of Guilt After a Fatal Accident

God teach us by Moments, we only know it as Accidents  ~ Dyota Narotama

A reader writes: Two weeks ago my nephew was involved in a terrible auto accident. He was driving at night during a heavy thunderstorm when one of his rear tires blew out. He lost control of his car, skidded off the highway and ended up hitting a tree. His girlfriend was in the passenger seat and did not survive the accident. My nephew is only 17 years old and is not handling this well at all. I am worried about him and don’t know what I can do to help. 

My response: I’m so sorry to learn of the tragic auto accident that took the life of your nephew’s girlfriend. I can only imagine how devastating this has been for you, your nephew, and both families. Auto crashes are among the most sudden and unanticipated of deaths, and that alone can make grieving especially complicated.

It’s very likely that your nephew believes, deep down, that he was somehow responsible for his girlfriend’s death—even though the accident was unintentional.

When a Parent Dies: Supporting the Grief of Adolescents

A father is one of God's first gifts to our hearts, and his love stays with us always.  ~ Holly Gerth 

A reader writes: I lost my dad 6 months ago. He had a tumor in his pancreas that was discovered two years before that. He was told he had cancer on my 13th birthday. He had many operations, and cancer treatments like chemotherapy, but after a long struggle he died in a hospice in our city. I live with my mother and my 7-year-old brother. We are happy, but I feel really sad sometimes, because I miss my dad. I was very close to him, and we were very alike in the way we were both mechanical. He was a professor of engineering and he wrote many articles and textbooks. I am very proud of him. I boast about him a lot, and it makes me feel better to know that he did something in his life that was so fantastic – or I think so anyway. It’s just gone past 6 months since he died, and I’m beginning to feel very sad a lot of the time.

Teen Grief: Worried About My Daughter

[Reviewed and updated November 12, 2024]

Avoidance has never been a great tactic in solving any problem. For most situations in life, not addressing what's going on only makes matters worse.  ~ Luvvie Ajayi

A reader writes: My daughter is 16. Her brother was 17 when he was killed three months ago. As we live where there is no other family she had to be the second one to identify his body. She won't talk. It's like he never existed. I have tried getting her to counseling but she isn't interested. The counselor told me to just be here for her when she needs me and that she is taking her cues from me. But I am really worried that if she bottles this up it will compound later on. I'm not so sure I am right. Can you shed some light please?

Pet Loss: Supporting A Teen on the Autism Spectrum through Grief

It is no coincidence that both birds and angels have wings.  ~ Anonymous

A reader writes: My 15 year-old autism spectrum disorder son and his cockatiel were inseparable. Every waking and sometimes sleeping minute his bird was on him or next to him. My son stepped out side yesterday with his cockatiel on his shoulder. His bird flew to the ground just a few feet away and before my son could even take a step a hawk swooped down, grabbed his cockatiel and flew off. With my son's ASD this bird as he put it was his motivation to get out of bed each day. We all are so devastated and concerned for him. I know this only happened yesterday and the shock and pain are fresh but what can we do to not only help him heal but all of us?

Children and Teens in Grief: Suggested Resources

[Reviewed and updated December 27, 2025]

Given their limited experience with loss, your children may be surprised or embarrassed by the intensity of their grief when a death happens, and they may try to hide it or disguise it. Your best approach is to watch and listen – to tune into your children, to be there for them, and if you’re unsure what’s going on with them, to ask! What else can you do to help them?

In Grief: Worried About My Daughter

Find the latest version of this post here:

Teen Grief: Worried About My Daughter

A reader writes: My daughter is 16. Her brother was 17 when he was killed three months ago. As we live where there is no other family she had to be the second one to identify his body. She won't talk. It's like he never existed. I have tried getting her to counseling but she isn't interested. The counselor told me to just be here for her when she needs me and that she is taking her cues from me. But I am really worried that if she bottles this up it will compound later on. I'm not so sure I am right. Can you shed some light please?

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 18 - October 24, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Everything Doesn't Happen For A Reason, http://j.mp/205os1P « The Adversity Within

Grief Is Hard, http://j.mp/204WhAj « Stunned By Grief

On child loss and lessons learned: After Grief,  http://j.mp/1WaiuIr « Responsibility.org

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 8 - June 14, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Supporting Kids Who Can't Remember Their Dads This Father's Day http://j.mp/1y1Y0bu « What's Your Grief ?

Grief, Mindfulness and Alcohol, http://j.mp/18FKP3i « What's Your Grief ?

After Death Communication: Uncovering The Richer Connections in Our Signs, http://j.mp/1kwpGv0 « The Grief Toolbox