Grief Has No Sexual Orientation

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

A reader writes: My heart is breaking. My partner died some time ago, yet it still feels as though it happened yesterday. I've recently received some very bad news about my own health, and more than ever I find myself needing my partner to be here with me. I feel as though my heart can bear no more. My soul feels empty without her. Everything about my life feels different, and it is so hard. I need to find other lesbians who have lost their spouse.

I attended a grief support group yesterday, and it was painfully difficult. During the introductory "check-in," the member who spoke after me said she would not be able to continue if I were allowed to stay in the group. She said lesbianism is a sin.

Grief At Work: When Job Performance is Affected

Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.  ~ Fred Rogers

A reader writes: This past year was a very difficult one for me and my family.   My father was diagnosed with a terminal illness and passed 7 months later. The day he died my mother-in-law was hospitalized and a few days later we found out she had stage 4 cancer and had only a few months left. She died 2 months later. I took one month compassionate care leave to look after my father and two bereavement leaves, and most of the year I was in a fog. It was very difficult to watch my father suffer over several months before he passed away at home.

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 28 - September 3, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Wherever you might be in your grieving process, support can be found through counseling, which can help you work through grief and heal in a healthier way. Learn more below about the different types of grief, what grief counseling entails and how you might benefit from trying it. Grief Counseling: How It Works, Benefits And More « Forbes Health

Voices of Experience: A Physician's Personal Lessons From Loss

Image by truthseeker08 from Pixabay

By Dr. Caroline Macari, with Foreword and Afterword by Una Harrington

Originally published as Grief in the ED - Personal Lessons from Loss, Dr. Macari's story first appeared on the WRaP EM blog and is reprinted here with permission.

Foreword: In early 2019, I travelled to Sydney to take part in the NSW ED Wellbeing day. While I was there, I heard this honest and poignant story from Dr. Caroline Macari. The effect this story had on those in the room was palpable. There was such power in her message that I asked if she would publish her story. She kindly agreed and has written her story down here for WRaP EM.

When Grief Affects Performance At Work

Find an updated version of this post here: 

Grief At Work: When Job Performance is Affected

A reader writes: This past year was a very difficult one for me and my family.   My father was diagnosed with a terminal illness and passed 7 months later. The day he died my mother-in-law was hospitalized and a few days later we found out she had stage 4 cancer and had only a few months left. She died 2 months later. 

Caregiving and Hospice, November 25 - December 1, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

How to Help Patients at the End of Life and Their Loved Ones During the Holidays, http://j.mp/2KJla2q « Oncology Nurse Advisor

Loved ones with health-care decision-making power often over-confident, http://j.mp/2KEYn7X « Reuters

The Role of Hope, Compassion, and Uncertainty in Physicians’ Reluctance to Initiate Palliative Care, http://j.mp/2KDRN1x « AMA Journal of Ethics

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 20 - May 26, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

MemorialDay: The Story Of A Hero Son, A Dad's Grief And A Hit Song, http://j.mp/2INZ558 « Newsweek

The Need for Self-Compassion in Grief, http://j.mp/2ILeHWY « What's Your Grief ?

My Name is Grief, http://j.mp/2IMY60X  « Bryan C. Taylor

Voices of Experience: The Lessons We Can Learn from Loss

                      
By Stephanie Harris

The most beautiful people I’ve known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.  ~  Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

The loss of a loved one irrevocably changes us. It’s painful, and it’s difficult. 

But as challenging as loss is to endure, it also teaches us lessons about ourselves and our place in the world—lessons we can use to evolve into stronger versions of ourselves and transfigure the pain of grief into a force for positive change.

Here are three lessons that we can learn from our most painful losses.

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 17 - September 23, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Helping Others to Help Yourself, http://j.mp/2hn3gI4 « Grieve Well

5 Ways Grieving Kids Changed My Own Relationship with Loss, http://j.mp/2hlPju5 « Modern Loss

How to Cope with Anticipatory Grief and Ambiguous Loss, http://j.mp/2hlNjhy « Next Avenue

Caregiving and Hospice, November 13 - November 19, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Caregivers have different set of problems, http://bit.ly/2g56E4r « Walking With Jane

Compassion and Choices Introduces Truth in Treatment, http://bit.ly/2gsQff9 « A Good Goodbye

FAQ for New Hospice Volunteers: 15 Questions You're Afraid to Ask, http://bit.ly/2g2dVnc « Pallimed

Caregiving and Hospice, December 13 - December 19, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Medicare, Hospice and Trustworthy Doctors, http://j.mp/1NrRAtD « Barbara Karnes Books, Inc.

A Love Letter – “You Are The Light of Hospice,” http://j.mp/1P9oiAD « Hospice Times

PTSD at the end of life, http://j.mp/1NV722X « GeriPal

Caregiving and Hospice, April 27 - May 3, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Give your family the gift of making your own decision, http://j.mp/1mlO89C « Caring with Confidence

Terrific! Everything I Need to Know about Twitter I Learned from Hospice, http://j.mp/1iLdIMF « Social in DC

Are you listening, docs? The Health-Care System Is So Broken, It’s Time for Doctors to Strike, http://j.mp/R7nvqm « The Daily Beast

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 29 - October 12, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream:

The 4 Letter Word That Leads You Astray (And What to Do About It), http://j.mp/1gzhE5T « Huffington Post

Friday Favorites: Articles about Grief, http://j.mp/19uMLwn  What's Your Grief?

Lou LaGrand: Little Things to Do In Adapting to the Death of Your Loved One, http://j.mp/1attAkP « Ezine Articles

Voices of Experience: Sacred Presence, Silent Compassion

Source

by Joyce Marie Sheldon

We have all experienced grief and loss during our journey on this earth. It isn't always about the death of a loved one, but can be the loss of a job, a relationship, financial security, our own health.

There's much written on how to be supportive to others during their time of grief and I contemplate the many good suggestions for being a friend and supporter during times of stress.

For me, however, the greatest gift, often brought by hospice or home care during my husband's illness, was Sacred Presence and Silent Compassion.

Let's talk about Sacred Presence and Silent Compassion as it relates specifically to the caregiver during the illness and subsequent death of a loved one. However, let's remember these simple guidelines can be incorporated into the setting where you are wondering how to show love and support for those suffering other types of loss.

Caregiving and Hospice, May 20 - May 26, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• MA Moves to Require End-of-Life Talks, http://onforb.es/KIvcZi via @annelizhannan
  
  
• For Military Families: 5 Resources for Caregivers of Veterans, http://j.mp/JLErbd via @YourTurnToCare
  
  
• One Moment Does Not Make a Journey, http://j.mp/KTYB4p « Caregiver Stress
  
  
• Video: Navigating the Senior Care Maze, http://j.mp/JrIe2B
  
  
• Pain management: myths and realities in hospice, http://j.mp/KPltWC from @tischmd via @jfclearywisc and @KSkipperFoster