In Grief: Is This Counselor Safe For Me?

[Reviewed and updated September 22, 2024]

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear  ~ Zen Proverb

A reader writes: I hope it's okay to ask you this question, I have no one else to ask. I am seeing a hospice bereavement counselor, my Mom passed away two months ago, I have seen this lady about 5 times at the most, anyway, I saw her this past Friday and I finally told her that I was fighting with suicidal thoughts, she really said nothing but "they are not equipped to deal with this."

Understanding & Managing Grief, August 2 - August 8, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Peter was my husband, my companion, and my very best friend. We shared a home, a bed, and a most wonderful life for 20 years. Unbeknownst to me for all of those years, he was — and is — gay. My Disenfranchised Grief When I Discovered My Husband Is Gay « Seven Ponds Blog

Caregiving, Grief and Pet Loss, November 10 - November 23, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream these last two weeks:

Sometimes, holidays can be a very painful time for people who are experiencing their first (or second or third, etc.) special holiday without their loved one who has died. Pet Loss & the Holidays: 4 Things To Consider When Grieving During the Holidays (or any time!) https://j.mp/2OyTXBS « Animal Souls Matter

When we work with a counselor about the devastating loss of a loved one, we deserve to feel cared about, that we are in the hands of someone who is compassionate with us, non-judgmental, knowledgeable about grief, and is trained and skilled as a counselor. How to Choose and Work With a Grief Counselor for Pet Loss: What You Deserve and What You Should Expect, https://j.mp/37Grfb4  « Animal Souls Matter

A program at The Ohio State University Veterinary Medical Center called Honoring the Bond provides support for pet owners facing tough decisions. Ohio State program helping pet owners cope with grief hopes to expand across the US, https://j.mp/2XE0y1T « ABC News Cleveland

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 14 - October 20, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Anxiety and Grief After Losing a Loved One, http://j.mp/2Ail3az « NextAvenue

Review: Sorry For Your Loss is a heartfelt glossary of grief,  http://j.mp/2AjfIzO  « The Spinoff

In Her Defense, I Defined My Journey, http://j.mp/2QZBz4G « Grief Watch

Grief Healing: On Becoming A Grief Counselor

[Reviewed and updated June 1, 2025]

We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.  ~ Author Unknown

A reader writes: I came across your website, but I believe I have heard your name before. I'm writing for two reasons; first, out of admiration for your work in pet loss and grief, and secondly, to see if you could possibly help me. Historically, I've had an interest in depression and anxiety, but my recent experiences with the elderly have guided me towards grief and loss. Pet grief and loss has always been important to me. As I approach graduate school and the chance to do a thesis and numerous other projects/papers, this topic seems to be dominating my preferences. With all of this in mind, I was wondering if you have any advice for this stage of my career--both academically and professionally.

In Grief: Using Denial to Cope with Loss

Find the latest version of this post here:

Using Avoidance and Denial to Cope with Loss

Denial helps us to pace our feelings of grief. There is a grace in denial. It is nature's way of letting in only as much as we can handle. ~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

A reader writes: I feel extremely depressed. My father, who is my best friend and closest person to me, passed away. Ever since I was little, I was always afraid he'd be taken away from me; he and I were very close, and he was the best father any person could ask for. He's the type of father who'd drive you around town for hours when you needed some last minute item for your school project that's due the next day. He's the type of father who will buy your favorite foods and secretly put it in your fridge. He's the type of father who will drop everything to listen when you're having a problem. We hugged each other every day, and I always told him I loved him. Why did this happen? I must be such a horrible person to be punished in this way.

In Grief: Difficulty Making Decisions

[Reviewed and updated January 11, 2024]

He who rides the middle of the road gets hit from both ends.  ~ Loni Bergqvist

A reader writes: I have been browsing the Articles Worth Reading section of your Tools for Healing forum. I was wondering if there is an article or book that you can suggest for me about decision making and grief. I'm in the second year and I feel I'm making all the wrong decisions regarding my life, like job searching, where to live, how to spend money. Or I find that I'm unable to decide at all.