Sunday, November 12, 2023

Understanding and Managing Grief, November 5 - November 11, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

I have lost many loved ones suddenly within the span of just a year—and this new period of my life has felt incredibly strange, confusing and chaotic. I’m used to seeing grief portrayed in movies, TV shows and even video games, but I never quite understood what it felt like to actually grieve. Nothing could have prepared me for the struggles I’ve had to face, especially as an already overwhelmed college student. A year later, though, I’ve decided to give myself the opportunity to finally talk about the realities of grief. If you’re struggling like me, then maybe you can find some comfort in my personal reflections. My journey through grief « The Case Western Reserve Observer

The call to be cheerful is relentless. There are so many pressures to put on a happy face that many of us withdraw socially rather than force a pretense that we are “fine.” Who wants to be a downer, an energy drain, the one who puts a damper on the evening? We don’t want to be the one who burdens others with heavy feelings. But if we conceal our sadness instead of grieving openly, we each end up isolated within the sorrows we hide. I Don't Have Time to Grieve « Psychology Today

People claim that the first year after losing someone is the “year of firsts,” but it is supposed to get easier. Though the “year of firsts” is unimaginably difficult, that does not make any year after it easier. Grief can come in waves and last for a very long time. I thought that it hitting me on a random Tuesday two years after the death of my grandfather was weird or just me overreacting; but it wasn’t. Grief doesn’t follow a timeline, nor any rules. The thought of grief having an endpoint has made me feel like I’m doing things wrong because I haven’t reached that point in my grief. Myths by the Month: Grief and time « Hebron Hawk Eye

In all our lives, grief can cast a shadow, and for children, this feeling is no different. It’s fairly common for this topic to cause uncertainty and discomfort, but it’s a reality that many children and teens face. Children’s Grief Awareness Day is on Nov. 16, and it serves as a reminder of the unique challenges children and teens face when navigating loss. Let’s Talk About Grief: A Message for Children’s Grief Awareness Day « The Herald Times

Grief is funny sometimes. Years after my mother died, I broke down in tears at the grocery store when I got to the salad dressing aisle and saw the Wishbone Italian dressing on the shelf. My dear mother used to toss the communal salad bowl with copious amounts of the dressing. Then, in true hillbilly form, we each proceeded to put another dressing of our choice on top of our servings. Believe me, I had a field day at the salad bar when I got to college. This is all to say that my grief came pouring out like that salad dressing, but it happened at a grocery store. With me, it doesn’t matter if I’m at home, driving the car, or grocery shopping. Grief just hits me sometimes all at once, and sometimes unexpectedly.  Have Faith: Grieving Takes Many Forms « The Martha's Vineyard Times

Voluntarily entering into someone else’s grief and pain, especially that of a parent following the suicide of a child, is a big first step. But it’s a step worth taking. In many ways, this book is not a book about suicide. In the foreword, Nicholas Wolterstorff calls the book a love story, and Wolterstorff is right. The book is the story of a remarkable boy, August Robert Hubbard, told by Robert Hubbard, the boy’s father and a professor of theatre at Northwestern College in Orange City, Iowa. Hubbard writes beautifully and brings his creative energy and imagination to the task of telling us about his son. Like a play, the book is laid out in three acts. Scenes with My Son: Love and Grief in the Wake of Suicide « Reformed Journal

Looking back, I see now that I didn’t really know what to do with my grief over losing him, or my guilt over not being there when he crossed the rainbow bridge. Though I would never say this to a friend, I told myself that I should keep my sadness small, at least on the outside. It was 2021 and many people around me had lost so much.It wasn’t just the moment in history we were living through that caused me to feel this way. In the West, there are virtually no cultural rituals to help us cope with the death of pets. Such mourning is done behind closed doors, even though loving and losing animals is a nearly universal experience. The death of a pet can be devastating. Here are some ways to work through the grief « Los Angeles Times

Like most Americans, I am deeply grateful for the sacrifices these dedicated people are making for the rest of us, and I worry about them, too.  How will these brave men and women reintegrate back into their families and into society when they return from military combat, and what is the military doing to facilitate that? Resources for Service Members and Their Families « Grief Healing

The world has changed. Covid’s rampage forced us to reckon with a relentless, silent sadness. And one echo of #MeToo is that capital-M Masculinity has lost its sheen. In the taxonomy of acceptable emotions, Unalloyed Sorrow is now a category. Rob Delaney’s book about his son, Anderson Cooper’s podcast about his mother, and Marc Maron’s comedy special about his girlfriend—these are beautiful, profound harbingers of a new era. These are the days of grief, and it feels good. The world has changed, and so can we.  Why grief is the new happiness « Harper's Bazaar

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