In Grief: Feeling Pressured to "Move On"

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.  ~ Robert Frost

A reader writes: I was married to a wonderful man for 26 years. At the age of 45 he suffered a massive heart attack and was given a life expectancy of two to five years, but with pacemakers, meds, and various procedures, he was able to be with us another ten years. They were not always easy years, as illness does not bring out the best in any of us. Nevertheless, we fell back in love and had the opportunity and blessing of this past year. We grew very close and he was my best friend. We have a grown son that my husband cherished. My question is this: Why after only six weeks do others think my son needs to move on?????

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 15 - January 18, 2025

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed:

The end of a caregiving journey brings a complex mix of emotions that can feel overwhelming and confusing. While grief is expected, many caregivers are surprised to experience relief after caregiving ends – a natural feeling that often triggers guilt. Understanding these emotions is crucial for healing and moving forward. Relief after Caregiving Ends « Caregiver Action Network

Meaningful Quotes on Pet Loss: Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers, Part 1

The profoundest thought or passion sleeps as in a mine, until an equal mind and heart finds and publishes it. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Quotation and Originality

In my many years of working with and supporting bereaved animal lovers ~ not to mention learning to cope with losses of my own cherished pets ~ I've found that reading selected quotes on pet loss can be profoundly helpful ~ for a number of reasons:

First, such quotations validate emotions, as they encapsulate feelings of grief, love, and loss in a concise and relatable way, helping individuals feel understood and less alone in their sorrow.

Coping with Overwhelming, Traumatic Loss

Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it. ~ Jane Wagner

A reader writes: I have come to the conclusion this year for me is supposed to be a lifetime movie. To start the year off I had to admit my son to a psychiatric hospital. He was bullied in school and wanted to die. He was also still having trouble dealing with his biological mother's death. She died of leukemia.

I get him home and less than 2 weeks later my family awoke to find my 2-year old daughter dead in her bed. She was happily playing the night before, but had died in her sleep from an undetected heart condition. 

Every day is a struggle and I am in more pain than I can bear.

Complicated, Prolonged, Persistent Grief Disorder: "Maybe I am Nuts"

Complicated Grief is a form of grief that takes hold of a person's mind and won't let go.

A reader writes: "Complicated Grief," "Prolonged Grief Disorder" and now "Persistent Complex Bereavement Disorder." In reading about all of these "disorders" with an open mind, I clearly am suffering from all three. And suffering is the appropriate word. It's been over four years since my beloved died and I still don't know my place in this world. Still feel my life is mostly meaningless without her. I've kept her clothes and most of her things just where they always were. I feel like if I got rid of that stuff,  my life would feel even more empty  than it already does. Her things being where they always were gives me a small sense of comfort.

In Grief: Son Disapproves of The Way Mom Needs to Grieve

Imagine the choices you'd make if you had no fear-of falling, of losing, of being alone, of disapproval.  ~ Martha Beck

A reader writes: It will be one year tomorrow that the love of my life, my everything -- will have been in Heaven for one year and I miss him so very, very, very much. Announcement of the anniversary of my husband’s death appears in the newspaper today and I am a wreck. I just can't do this life thing without my beloved...it is so hard and I don't know where to turn. I am tired of pretending, so very, very tired................

My oldest son didn't want to put in a memoriam and my youngest, well he basically asked me to do it for him. It hurts so much. I know they truly miss their father with all of their being but why, why won't they talk to me or, or I don't know what.

In Grief: Feeling Like More Is Going Wrong Than Right

Some of the best growth happens as a result of things going wrong.  ~ Nishan Panwar

A reader writes:  I am looking for suggestions. My story in short is I am six months in grief after my husband's unexpected suicide. It feels like more is going wrong than right and I am feeling like I'm on a sinking ship. My adult son, also grieving, lives with me and he is very resistant to seeing a grief councellor or anyone else. I was seeing someone but finances are such that I have to stop seeing her for awhile. 

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 8 - December 14, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

My heart weighed so heavy in my chest that it felt as if I was drowning. I needed to feel less alone, so I turned to Facebook and asked others to share their experiences of birth trauma. "Are you looking for stories about stillbirth?" one grandmother asked, and that is how The Loss Mother's Stone began. Through 'The Loss Mother's Stone,' mothers share their grief from losing a child to stillbirth « NPR

Death of A Love Relationship: Suggested Resources

When it hurts to stand still next to someone and the only thing you have in common is the past, sometimes the best thing you can do for each other is walk separately towards a future and it’s there you’ll find someone who stays. ~ Kirsten Corley

Whenever there is a loss of something significant in our lives, we suffer grief. When an intimate love relationship ends – whether we were married, living together with a partner or significant other, or committed to another as part of a couple – the separation can be overwhelmingly painful. Usually for a death there is a set ritual with a funeral or memorial service, and some understanding in our culture that mourning is important. But for the death of a love relationship, there is no prescribed ritual of mourning, and the accompanying grief that is part of the divorce / breaking-up process is seldom acknowledged or accepted. The ending of a love relationship is yet another kind of death, and it is just as worthy of our understanding and support. Gathered here are a number of resources that can help.

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 1 - December 7, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

When someone you love loses a person they love, it can be hard to know what to say. You want to show your friend you love and support them, but you also know there really isn't much you can say to heal their pain. In this situation, the best thing to do is "name the elephant in the room," says Mekel Harris, a psychologist and grief consultant. The Do's and Don'ts of Expressing Condolences « NPR