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I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou
Surely one of the most painful aspects of losing a loved one to death is that somehow, on top of all our grief, we must tolerate all the insensitive comments and empty platitudes we may hear from friends, relatives and others who think that they are helping us. If they don’t know what to say, they may talk about the weather or some other mundane topic – anything except to discover how we’re doing and how we are coping. Those who are unable to face us may avoid us altogether, as if we no longer exist for them.
Sometimes people say things out of ignorance and inexperience, and we are left feeling angry, frustrated, disgusted and hurt. Stunned with shock and disbelief, we think to ourselves, “How could they say such an awful thing? Don’t they know how much it hurts?” The answer is simply that No, they don’t know, because they haven’t been where we are and they haven’t walked in our shoes.
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