Mother Loss: When Can I Think of Her Without Crying?

[Reviewed and updated August 12, 2023]

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than 10,000 tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.  ~ Washington Irving

A reader writes: I just wish for the day when I can think of my mom without crying. Why does it seem to last for so long? It’s been five months since my mom passed and I still can’t think of her without bawling. I’ve been very depressed lately and some days are better than others, but it often feels as if I’m on a roller-coaster. I just want to keep it together for my daughter; I don’t like falling apart in front of her.

Caregiving and Hospice, August 16 - August 22, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The Lies of Hospice Patients, http://j.mp/1MDdUAS « Pallimed

5 ways to help loved ones adjust to Chronic Illness, http://j.mp/1Jatm4S « About Health

Choice and Control at the End of Life – The 3 Wishes Project, http://j.mp/1PoE8Gj « GeriPal

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 16 - August 22, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Interview: How Do You Recover After the Loss of a Child? http://j.mp/1NC4N3Y « Seven Ponds Blog

Irish singer's moving video about grief will make you weep, http://j.mp/1Jpx4sP « SheKnows

Understanding the Grief of Suicide, http://j.mp/1PqhCNi « HuffPost Living Canada

Coping with Cumulative Losses: Personal vs. Professional

Source

[Reviewed and updated September 9, 2025]

It never rains but it pours.  ~ Old English Proverb

A reader writes: I don’t know where or how to start. I lost a beloved dog a month ago. My other dog is critically ill. I lost a very good friend earlier this year. I am also feeling enormous grief and guilt over the loss of another dog who was killed by a car.
          I am an RN so maybe you can relate a little. I was in critical care for many years and then worked in oncology and hospice. Most of my patients either died suddenly or suffered and eventually died. My involvement with significant others and family members was extensive. I attended many deaths in the course of my career.

Caregiving and Hospice, August 9 - August 15, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

In the face of serious illness: Don't Say Nothing,  http://j.mp/1P4pzHL « Modern Loss

Signs of approaching death, http://j.mp/1hvyIid « Barbara Karnes, RN

In healthcare, focus on patient safety instead of patient satisfaction, http://j.mp/1EjUz0S « Kevin MD

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.
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Understanding and Managing Grief, August 9 - August 15, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Happily ever after: The Big Lie, http://j.mp/1Nac63G « Alive in Memory

Sharing Grief Across Species Lines, http://j.mp/1TFrHHt « NPR

When An Adult Child Dies: Resources for Bereaved Parents, http://j.mp/1LaDbR5 « Grief Healing

In Grief: Ashamed To Share Negative Feelings In An Online Forum

Source

Don't push the river, it flows by itself.  ~ Chinese Proverb

[Note to readers: Permission to share the following exchange with all of you has been granted by the person who wrote to me.]

A reader writes: I was going to post this on our [online Grief Healing Discussion Groups] forum, but it’s such a downer and people posting these days all seem so upbeat that I didn’t want to throw this post in right now. I do need to put it out there just so I know someone hears me. I hope you don’t mind. You’re it. I’m not looking for feedback – just an ear and an understanding heart.

Caregiving and Hospice, August 2 - August 8, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Alzheimer’s Caregiving – There’s An App For That! http://j.mp/1OR2AQl « Alzheimer's Association

Alzheimer's, Dementia Patients and Hospice, http://buff.ly/1g22kCM « Barbara Karnes, RN

Why doctors overtreat patients. And how to fix it. http://j.mp/1KQv5Nf « Kevin MD

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 2 - August 8, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Seeing Death in Nature: Preparing Children for Loss, http://j.mp/1IVh3L5 « It's OK to Die

Don’t You Tell Me How to Grieve! http://j.mp/1KakGta « GriefMinisterDotCom

Helpful article! Tolerating the Intolerable: Beyond Numbing, http://j.mp/1git8i3 « Open to Hope

Voices of Experience: The Trouble With Triggers

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by Harry Proudfoot, Walking with Jane

One of my most painful, hurtful, appalling experiences occurred the first time I went to the grocery store after Robby died . . . Every shelf, every aisle reminded me of my dead son. Either the item was something he hated or something he loved. Green beans and hot dogs and peanut butter sent stabs of pain through me.
~ Harriet Sarnoff Schiff

I finished redoing the living room today. Six weeks ago, I ordered two love seats to replace the couch and love seat Jane and I bought when we built this house just over twenty years ago. I’d finally figured out that even with new slipcovers, those two pieces set me off every time I entered the room.

In the process of getting everything in the room balanced—I’ve never studied feng shui, but I know when things are arranged right I feel better than when they aren’t—I decided to remove the next level of knick-knacks that I have kept out as reminders of the couple we were. Fifty-five months and 15 days is long enough to keep the two doll-sized mugs embossed with "My Sweetheart” out where they can remind me every day of what I’ve lost.