Monday, October 27, 2014

Remarriage in Widowhood: How Soon Is Too Soon?

Source
[Reviewed and updated November 8, 2017.]

Many individuals approach marriage, even remarriage, with a “let’s get married and work out the details later” attitude. In fact, most remarrying couples have known each other less than 9 months. Couples remarry long before they have finished grieving their losses, worked through their issues or developed a healthy single lifestyle.  ~ Drs. Jeff and Judi Parziale

A reader writes: My dad remarried recently to a woman he met four months after my mom's passing. I am 36, so part of me feels like I shouldn't be so childish about this--however--they are an extremely insensitive twosome. My father will not speak of my mom; it's as if she never existed! He says constantly that he wouldn't change one thing in his life as it is today for anything. I don't know what my question is, or how you can help, but I am just so angry! I feel so locked in and closed off. How do you get through the anger? How do you start to deal with the rage of it all? Is it wrong to fess up to him and tell him how upsetting I find all of this?

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Caregiving and Hospice, October 19 - October 25, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Hospice Helps People LIVE the Best They Can, http://j.mp/1taeHQV « Moments Of Life

Brilliant. An Ebola parody that educates. Watch why it should go viral. http://j.mp/1wqGZJ4 « Kevin MD

How to Talk to Your Kids About Ebola, http://j.mp/1wqtRnh « TIME

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 19 - October 25, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Insightful: Grieving Without God, http://j.mp/ZRbFFo « Alive in Memory

The Grief Journey-What To Pack, http://j.mp/1zpNSww « The Grief Toolbox

Child’s Eye View of Death: The Power of Picture Books to Explain, http://j.mp/1wa3Bxj « The Guardian

Coping with Pet Loss, October 19 - October 25, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Our 15-Year-Old Cat Taught Me Something about Grief, http://j.mp/ZRg5Mz « Stunned by Grief

Portland woman comforts grieving pet owners, http://j.mp/1ru8KsA « KOIN 6

Paying Tribute to My Peeps, http://j.mp/1ykAw0a « Modern Loss

Monday, October 20, 2014

In Grief: Support Groups vs. Individual Counseling

Source
A reader writes: My husband died on a hospice service six weeks ago. I feel very comfortable on your online Grief Healing Discussion Groups site, and have already received great support from the people there. They encourage and inspire me. I'm learning a lot from those who've inhabited this world of grief longer than I have. That's why it would be good to hear your thoughts on the following issue. 
          The forum helps me, but I feel I need additional counseling. I met individually with a grief counselor from the hospice where my husband died and she encouraged me to come to one of their local support group meetings. I went, but hearing the other group members' sad stories made me feel uncomfortable, and even more depressed than I already was.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Caregiving and Hospice, October 12 - October 18, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Palliative Care by the People, for the People: A Call for a New Grassroots Movement, http://j.mp/1vrWJd5 « Huff Post Healthy Living

Breast Cancer: Survivors' Wisdom for the Newly Diagnosed,  http://j.mp/1vJsYWv « Huff Post Healthy Living

Outstanding! What Health Care Professionals Need to Know about Physician-Assisted Dying and Euthanasia, http://j.mp/1DixL2h « Canadian Virtual Hospice

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 12 - October 18, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

On Dating (or Not): Sit With It, http://j.mp/1rNgFko « Widow's Voice

Anticipatory Grief: Chronic diseases come with a new "normal," http://j.mp/1t0xm2u « The Caregiver Space

Ambiguous Grief: Grieving Someone Who Is Still Alive, http://j.mp/11yFLyr « What's Your Grief?

Coping with Pet Loss, October 12 - October 18, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

I Killed My Cat, http://j.mp/1xWdQmB « Anything's Possible - Even Joy

Make Decisions about Pet Cancer, http://j.mp/1yH0o9y « Veterinary Wisdom Pet Parents

8 Ways to Face Financial Challenges When Caring for Your Pet, http://j.mp/1rf1d0D « Veterinary Wisdom Professionals

Monday, October 13, 2014

Child Loss: Supporting A Sibling In Grief

[Reviewed and updated November 8, 2017]

Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heal them.  ~ Leo Tolstoy

A reader writes: My 6 year old niece died suddenly a month ago. She was a completely healthy, strong little girl, until all of a sudden she wasn't. She had been sick for a few days with a low grade fever and a headache. Her parents thought it was just the bug going around. One morning she woke up still complaining of her headache, but asking her parents if she could still go to her cheer competition the upcoming weekend. She was so excited about it. She fell back to sleep. When her father went to wake her an hour or so later, she started seizing. He rushed her to the hospital, where she continued seizing until at one point she stopped breathing and was intubated. She never woke up from that point. Once many tests had been run we were told that she was brain dead and she died from bacterial meningitis.
          That was a month ago. I'm looking for guidance on how to support my sister. She has been completely devastated by this, understandably. Her children are her world. She has another son who is 12 and she's trying to be there for him, but I can tell she is in complete agony. I've never seen someone in such pain. She and her husband are dealing with their grief in such different ways and I think she feels very alone.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Caregiving and Hospice, October 5 - October 11, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

A Call for Maternalism in Medicine, http://j.mp/1stECDP « GeriPal

No Risky Chances: The Conversation That Matters Most ~ Terrific excerpt from Atul Gawande's new book, Being Mortalhttp://j.mp/1rmd5xt « Medical Examiner

Palliative Care gets Boost from IOM, Gawande, http://j.mp/ZTsNLg « Hospitals and Health Networks

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 5 - October 11, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

In Grief: Dreading The Anniversary Date of A Loved One's Death, http://j.mp/1pVEyuE « Grief Healing Blog

After-Death Communication: A List of Resources, http://j.mp/fiWZXV « Grief Healing Blog

A Poet On Losing HIs Son: Edward Hirsch, Author Of Gabriel: A Poemhttp://j.mp/1slppmS « NPR

Coping with Pet Loss, October 5 - October 11, 2014

Best selection from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Pet Loss: When A Pet Goes Missing, http://j.mp/1vGRVi3 « Grief Healing Blog

Monday, October 6, 2014

Pet Loss: When A Pet Goes Missing

Source
[Reviewed and Updated October 16, 2017]

A reader writes: I can't stand it. My boxer dog ran from my pet sitter and did not return. I have posted ads, sent out fliers, visited pound, websites, done everything. It has been 6 weeks and I thought I was over him, but I am not. How do I get closure? How long does it take? I had him for 8 loving years and he was closer to me than any friend I ever had. I pray God to lead me to him. What do I do?

My response: I'm so sorry to learn that your beloved boxer disappeared six weeks ago, and I can only imagine how devastating this must be for you. Because this kind of loss can be extremely difficult, it is not at all unusual that you would be feeling and reacting the way that you describe.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Caregiving and Hospice, September 28 - October 4, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

New Rules For End of Life Care DVD by hospice nursing expert and author Barbara Karnes RN, http://youtu.be/43BxrLIF4BY « YouTube

At Dr. Jay's Suncoast Hospice clinic, East meets West, http://j.mp/1nSS4QB « Tampa Bay Times

When Patients Refuse The Hospice Chaplain, http://j.mp/1E5rRCM « Pallimed

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 28 - October 4, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Finding Grief Support That is Right for You, http://j.mp/zCUOOB « Grief Healing Blog

Funeral etiquette: Why some people behave so badly, http://j.mp/1pv8hGx « Detroit Free Press

A child's perspective: Death Is A Very, Very Long Time, But Not Forever, http://j.mp/YUM6SW « GriefMinister.com

Coping with Pet Loss, September 28 - October 4, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Living in the Moment With Our Dogs, http://j.mp/1E4Anlu « Huffington Post

Pet Hospices: Teaching Old Owners New Tricks, http://j.mp/1rGP8EH « Bainbridge Island Review