Pet Loss: A Run-Away Train of Grief

Find the latest version of this post here:

Pet Loss: How to Stop This Run-Away Grief Train

A reader writes: My beautiful lilac-point Siamese passed away earlier this month. I took her to the emergency clinic where they took blood tests and kept her through the weekend hydrating her. That Monday I transferred her to the Cat Care Clinic where she stayed another day. I was taught how to hydrate her and how to force-feed her. She wasn't even drinking water, though she would go to her water bowl and cry. She was trying to get well, but couldn't . . .

Though at times I can actually forget my grief for a little while, it's so raw that I have become intolerant of others, not my usual loving self. I pace all night, missing her on my neck, I get on the computer and play stupid games just to dull the pain. I am a spiritual being and know all things happen for my highest good, yet I would trade places with her in a heartbeat. Yes, I know all the right things, but they don't matter right now. I'm in agony and don't know how to stop this run-away train.  Read on here >>>

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 13 - August 19, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:

Suffering the sudden death of a loved person leaves some survivors stuck in grief. Can they win their lives back – and how? When Grief Doesn't End « Aeon

Nobody chooses to hang on to grief; grief is in charge. Grief can feel like an ongoing connection with the loved one. The goal is to someday remember with more love than pain. Grief Is a Long, Tedious Slog « Psychology Today

Coping with Anxiety and Panic Attacks in Grief

[Reviewed and updated August 13, 2024]

He who fears he shall suffer, already suffers what he fears.  ~ Michel de Montaigne

A reader writes: I' m trying to deal with accepting the death of my father 6 months ago. I'm having panic attacks and I'm scared that they may start to develop into other fears.

I watched my father take his last breath and was there everyday as he slowly got worse. I want to remember him and not be afraid to think of him as it may provoke another attack.

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 6 - August 12, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:

Highlighting the dissonance between clinical diagnosis and the human experience of grief, new research sheds light on the controversial inclusion of Prolonged Grief Disorder in DSM-5-TR. Is Grief a Disorder? New Research Challenges the Psychiatrization of Mourning « Mad In America

Finding Joy in Grief?

[Reviewed and updated February 2, 2025]

For we have shared many griefs, but they are translated into pure love and rejoicing when we meet. ~ May Sarton

A reader writes: I am reading a wonderful little book Healing After Loss by Martha Whitmore Hickman and I have a question for you. I have found this book of daily readings to be of great comfort to me. It has helped me survive one day at a time. Like the daily book readings, some days are better than others. I find that some readings are very difficult for me to comprehend. Overall, I can still recommend the book, but it is not perfect! 

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 30 - August 5, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:

Loss, especially through unexpected events, can disrupt an individual's worldview. Yet, research has proposed that this disruption can lead to the rebuilding one's understanding of the world. During this process, individuals may discover their own strengths, develop a deeper appreciation for the impact of their relationships and gain new spiritual insights. 3 Lifelines To Hold Onto When Grieving The Loss Of A Loved One « Forbes

Anxiety and Panic Attacks in Grief

A reader writes: I am trying to figure out if what I am going through is normal. I am thinking that it is probably some kind of panic or anxiety attack. It started when I had something upsetting happen totally unrelated to the death of my friend. Everything went okay with that situation but things seemed to get worse as the evening went on. Yesterday it was like I had tunnel vision all day. I felt shaky and detached.I have been restless, anxious, and feeling like I am sleep deprived when I have actually been sleeping.

Last night I had very bizarre nightmares that were very upsetting and frustrating and I am going through the day feeling odd. I have taken my blood pressure and it is low normal, cause I actually thought maybe my blood pressure had shot up or something. My heart rate is up though, close to 90 bpm. I have the sensation of panic. That's the only way I know how to describe it. Which is one of the reasons why I think this is a panic/anxiety attack. Has anyone else experienced this under the stress of a loss?  Read on here >>>

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 23 - July 29, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

If the results of this study can be replicated and generalized, it seems that we are left with a major public mental health educational challenge. Whether by lack of knowledge or psychological denial, a large swath of the public may be suffering and not resolving grief normally. Recognizing and Reducing Prolonged Grief « Psychiatric Times

Does Hospice Withhold Food and Drink?

Quality is never an accident; it is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives.  ~ William A. Foster

A reader writes: So… both of my in-laws passed away in different hospice facilities at different times in S. California. They received no food or water of any kind, just getting pain medications, and they passed within a week.

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 16 - July 22, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

People who are grieving can make us feel uncomfortable. We tend to isolate those who are grieving, exacerbating their pain and loneliness. Acknowledging and addressing each other's suffering goes a long way to alleviating it. We need to be less afraid of saying or doing the "wrong thing" when addressing someone's grief. I'm Sorry For Your Loss « Psychology Today