In Grief: Mourning An Elderly Parent

[Reviewed and updated November 12, 2024]

There is something about losing your mother that is permanent and inexpressible- a wound that will never quite heal. ~ Susan Wiggs

A reader writes: Yesterday was the 4th month anniversary of my Mom's death. I still feel that after this time I have not fully grieved over her, or that if I do, I will not emerge from the pit of despair. I have been beset by material problems that have distracted me from grief, problems that are connected with her death. I feel that my mind is fracturing, that I am being hemmed in and trapped by everything, and there will be no end to this suffering. It is a constant companion that seems to not ever want to leave.

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 18 - September 24, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Now I worry that — by perpetuating false ideas about how one should grieve — the new definition of PGD will potentially result in even less social support for bereaved individuals when they really need it. The Hidden Dangers of Pathologizing Grief « Medscape Nurses

Coping with "Moment of Death Guilt" in Grief

[Reviewed and updated February 24, 2025]

Protective parents tend to not die with their children in the room, even if that child is seventy years old.  ~ Barbara Karnes, RN

A reader writes: My mom passed away 28 days ago. She was very sick and I took care of her for the last 10 years - she was living with me. I never left her alone, in fact our family dynamic changed because she was our priority. She was in the hospital for 12 days and everyday I was there for 12 to 13 hours, but could't stay overnight because I have a knee injury and it was necessary to rest my leg to be ready for the next day. On November 30th the doctors told me they couldn't do much for her, just wait to see what happened during the following 24/48 hours.

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 11 - September 17, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

From curling up in a ball to shaking to feeling disconnected grief gets into every fibre of our being. Psychotherapist and grief counsellor Julia Samuel has this self-care advice - including why exercise is so important. What is the best thing to do for grief? « Get The Gloss

Voices of Experience: Beyond Loss in a Pandemic

The time of COVID-19 has been characterized as an ongoing traumatic event that has exacerbated the grief process and made it more complicated.  ~ Linda Donovan  

Having experienced the loss of loved ones both before and during the pandemic, author Linda Donovan has developed compassionate and practical ways to help guide people through these challenging times and beyond. Her book Beyond Loss in a Pandemic: Find Hope and Move Through Grief After Someone Close to You Dies provides a comprehensive road map for healing after loss. Donovan has helped countless people through her volunteer work with hospice, where she provides grief support services. She shares how she was able to overcome her own grief, along with stories about how people can deal with a wide range of difficult, complex situations and yet emerge from loss with resilience and insight.

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 4 - September 10, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

A newscast or film clip from September 11 can catch us by surprise, acting as a trigger, and it's as if we're confronted with the event for the first time, all over again. September 11: Coping with Aftershocks « Grief Healing

What causes us to feel such grief over the death of a celebrity or public figure we did not know personally? Queen Elizabeth death: Collective grief a common phenomenon after a public figure dies « Philadelphia Inquirer

Supporting A Parent in Grief

[Reviewed and updated December 22, 2024]

The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly. ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

A reader writes - My mom died six months ago after a long battle with COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease). Knowing that she had a terminal illness and that she was in the end stages of this disease, our family agreed to take her off life supports. I thought I had this all figured out, her dying. I thought I was prepared for that day. Boy what a shock to myself. This has been the worst thing that I have been through. I miss my mom so much that I feel physically ill. I don't think you ever really get over it, just need to figure out how to live with it. Now I am very worried about my dad. He has shut down. He drinks too much. He sits on the couch watching TV. He says he has no ambition to do anything. He misses her badly and is very lonely. My adult children do not visit him because they don't know how to handle him. So I call everyday and visit, have him over two or three times a week for supper. I don't know how to help him start living again.

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 28 - September 3, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Wherever you might be in your grieving process, support can be found through counseling, which can help you work through grief and heal in a healthier way. Learn more below about the different types of grief, what grief counseling entails and how you might benefit from trying it. Grief Counseling: How It Works, Benefits And More « Forbes Health

In Grief: A Teen Mourns The Death of Her Best Friend

Because children and teens grieve differently than adults, their needs, especially support through the grieving process, are often overlooked. Consequently, children and teens are frequently forgotten, even invalidated, as mourners.  ~ Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS

A reader writes: When I was 12 years old, my best friend in the whole world died, one month before her 12th birthday. She was in the swimming pool playing that game—you know, who can hold their breath the longest—she was under but when she came up she inhaled a lot of water. She stood up and went over to the ladder and she was wheezing. She got up to the ladder and fell backwards, but her cousin caught her.

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 21 - August 27, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grief is a funny thing (I know it's not), it manages to boomerang into your system in hysterical ways—especially when you think you've learned to live with it. As a human, you can neither cheat nor escape grief—you can, however, shoulder the loss in many different ways, something I’ve ironically learnt from TV shows and films. 5 Movies & Shows That Showcased Grief In A Hauntingly Beautiful Way « Elle