In Grief: Sharing Sadness with A Child

It [is]our job to walk them through understanding their pain but also to be honest with them about our own.  ~ K.C. Freeman Ray

A reader writes: I recently lost my dad really suddenly, and he was only 50 and very healthy. I just wanted to talk about this because it seems there's nobody to tell. Nursing my younger brother today because he's not well. I got just an overwhelming sadness and couldn't stop crying and its weird how it doesn't even cross his mind why I might be upset because he's young? I dunno I don't get it surely even if he's a child he misses my dad too? Anyway I had to pretend I was crying because I felt ill and he was like "I never cry when I'm ill" haha.

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 9 - July 15, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The bereavement-support organization Judi’s House estimates that more than 450,000 U.S. children will lose a parent to suicide by the time they turn 18. Short sleepaway camps have emerged as a unique way to support children and families grieving these losses.  Bereavement Camps Help Kids Affected by Suicide Grieve « TIME

Pet Loss: Regrets Following Dog's Burial

Bones mend. Regret stays with you forever.  ~ Patrick Rothfuss

A reader writes: I am writing in hopes that you may be able to provide advice or support that I can give my parents who just had to euthanize their 12-year-old Golden Lab, Barney. He had to be put to sleep because he could not walk anymore. It was a very sad event for the whole family, especially for my mother who was home alone a lot with him. Since he was buried last Sunday, my mother has not been able to let go of the fact that neither the vet nor my mom closed Barney’s eyes before he was buried. I know it sounds silly, but it really has been bothering her. She says she still can't control her emotions. Do you have any advice or comfort I can give her so she can let this go? Does this matter that he was buried with his eyes open?

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 2 - July 8, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Public trauma, or vicarious trauma, refers to indirect exposure to a potentially traumatic event. Watching the news, listening to a survivor’s story, or witnessing a tragic event can cause vicarious trauma. When left unaddressed, public trauma can manifest in the psyche, causing PTSD-like symptoms. How to Heal From Public (Vicarious) Trauma « Psychology Today

Grief Support Group: When Is It Time?

The type of group [in person or online] isn't the most important factor in the grief journey. Rather, finding a group that best enables personal growth, healing and moving forward is key.  ~ Anna Baglione, PhD

A reader writes: I lost my husband while I was pregnant with our first child and he was undergoing a bonemarrow transplant for his treatment of lymphoma. I was wondering if anyone around the 6th month maybe (cause thats where I am at now) remembers things more vividly. I had forgotten so many precious things and I don't know if it was the point that I am at but everything comes to me so clearly. I dream more vividly,

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 25 - July 1, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

"Am I mentally ill? I've been told I am manic, a spoiled rotten brat and have dependent personality disorder." In Grief: Emotional Immaturity, or PTSD? « Grief Healing

Clinical experience, empirical evidence, and common sense all point to the oft-noted truism in serious illness and loss that was summarized in my friend Jim Kok’s book, now in its third edition, 90% of Helping is Just Showing Up. "Being There" is Invaluable: The Role of Presence After Loss « Grief Perspectives

In Grief: Emotional Immaturity, or PTSD?

A reader writes: I lost my mom two years ago, 43 days later my dad remarried and disinherited me for his "new" son, 6 months later my business and personal partner of 5 years walked out with no notice leaving me several million dollars in debt with construction loans. That same year two of my clients died by suicide and I was called to take care of the property including the clean-up. Four months ago I was raped by an usher in my church. For the first 2 years I worked 16-18 hours a day trying to keep up with the financial debts that were over 10K monthly. The legal financial part was over last month. I survived that on my own. I decided to take this month off just to regroup. The rape didn't even bother me until I stopped. I have no family or friends. I work out of my home. Since I stopped working around the clock, I cannot function. I have never experienced this kind of pain. I do not get dressed, I'm confused, overwhelmed, don't want to leave the house. I spoke with my minister and he told me I had the emotional maturity of a 12 year old.

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 18 - June 24 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

"I found it in my 35 mm camera -- an almost complete roll of film. My heart did a few pounds more than normal -- that camera hadn't been used since the last time my husband and I went to Duke, three months before he died." In Grief: Preserving Memories « Grief Healing

In Grief: Preserving Memories

Preserve your memories. They're all that's left you.  ~ Paul Simon

A reader writes: My husband died in August of brain cancer.  We were blessed to have a few years together after surgery, chemo and radiation, but that time was also plagued by a continual decline in his abilities. I am 45, he was 56 when he died too young. Our dreams are lost. Certainly I know he is whole and not suffering any longer but that doesn't always lessen mine. I am disabled so I have each and every day to deal with my loss. A wise woman told me to throw my books away and look for my answers inside. I don't have answers, but I do have a lot of journal entries and I thought I might share one of them with you:

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 11 - June 17 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Although it happens to everyone, death is not talked about very often. It remains a taboo topic for many people, surrounded by fear and uncertainty. The way death is portrayed in movies or television isn't always accurate, either. As a result, there are many widespread misconceptions about death and people who are dying. Hospice Nurse Shares 6 Common Misconceptions About Death « Today