Voices of Experience: My Beautiful Husband

by Louise McOrmond-Plummer

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.  ~ Lao Tzu

When her beautiful husband, Ken, died from cancer two years ago, Louise had a sense that her protector, her champion, the person who loved her most in the world, was gone. "That was pretty scary," she writes, "but I've had some powerful healing thoughts recently." Those thoughts were first expressed in a post she wrote for AfterTalk, and are reprinted here with her permission:

Caregiving and Hospice, March 10 - March 16, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grief of Dementia, http://j.mp/2Hc9LJG « Widower's Grief

Life in Jeopardy, http://j.mp/2HhFqcL « HOPEspot

With Dementia, More is Needed than a Boilerplate Advance Directive, http://j.mp/2Hc3Ynk « The Conversation Project

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here. 

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 10 - March 16, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Donna, A Photo Memoir of Love and Loss, http://j.mp/2HBuDJt « Donna The Book

Helping to spread the word: short film tackles children dealing with grief and how imagination might heal a broken heart, http://j.mp/2HCVZPm « IndieGoGo

Setbacks in Grief, http://j.mp/2HvPX37 « Grief Compass

In Grief: Saying Goodbye to A Family Home

We carry our homes within us which enables us to fly.  ~ John Cage

A reader writes: I found out Saturday afternoon on a walk that there are people living in my parents' old house. Intellectually I knew it was going to happen, but emotionally... (I always have this dichotomy: an intellectual grasp of something, and an emotional grasp. There is quite often a significant lag time for the emotional grasp to catch up. I am trying to follow others' advice about letting the emotions lead, but its hard. My basic "default" setting is intellect first, then emotions.)

Caregiving and Hospice, March 4 - March 9, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Care–Informal Style, http://j.mp/2Hm2w0T « The Unprepared Caregiver

Most Adults Don’t Have the End-of-Life Care Documents They Need, http://j.mp/2H4I85c « 1-800-HOSPICE™

How to Find the Right Words for Someone in Hospice, http://j.mp/2H7LQuA « Next Avenue

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 4 - March 9, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

7 Ways to Treat Yourself With Kindness While Grieving, http://j.mp/2Hozqy3 « What's Your Grief?
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How Matthew Broderick's movie "To Dust" explores grief with laughter, http://j.mp/2H4W8f2 « Legacy.com

Life after Caregiving, http://j.mp/2NKCfdG  « AfterTalk Inspirational 3.7.19

In Grief: Having a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

A reader writes: I lost both my parents and it sucks. My father died before I even graduated from college. For me, I wanted to make my parents proud by going to college, and getting a good paying job and helping them out financially. My father died before I even graduated, and he never saw me off to my real professional job. Life seemed pointless. My dream was killed. A part of me died. Our family was broken. We had to find a way to hold the table up with one person short. At that point, I realized that the most important thing to me was to spend as much time as I could with family, especially my mom, since she was hurting so much because she lost her companion. She became my best friend and we did everything together. And I was happy. I just wanted time with my family. And then last month my mother passes away. I'm so shocked I can't believe it. Now what I lived for, just got killed again. 

I am having a terrible, horrible day today. I just can't get myself together. The last few nights I've been dreaming about my mother, but last night I didn't. So I woke up this morning feeling hurt, angry, abandoned, depressed, sad. And I did not want to get out of bed. This whole day has been horrible. I went to the grave site and just screamed my lungs out, till I felt like I was going to pass out. My mom was all we had....and now she's gone. I'm so angry! Words can't express what I'm feeling. There's no word in the world that can sum up all the excruciating pain and hurt I feel. I find myself avoiding everyone and giving everyone the mean eye to avoid me. Get out of my way, leave me alone. I've started a hunger strike and find myself crying and driving at high speeds. I just can't take it any more. So if you see me on the road.....I'm sorry... Read on here >>>

Caregiving and Hospice, February 24 - March 2, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

My Personal Integrity Was Wounded Tonight, http://j.mp/2GNyFPr « Barbara Karnes, RN

Bereavement Service, http://j.mp/2NtrxrY « HOPEspot

 Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here. 

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 24 - March 2, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The Longing of Saudade, http://j.mp/2NCu17n « Widower's Grief

I'm Feeling Crazy. Do I Need Psychotherapy? http://bit.ly/2GSN4tM « Open To Hope

New Research Shows the Power of 1 Session of Guided Imagery on Anxiety, http://j.mp/2GQxSgD « Health Journeys

Coping with Pet Loss, February 24 - March 2, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

New York Allows Pet Burials in Human Cemeteries, http://bit.ly/2NEVfKQ  « Seven Ponds Blog

Losing a Pet Can Be Just as Hard as Losing a Loved One, http://j.mp/2GS5Lxz  « PsychCentral

Pet Loss: Cannot Stop Crying, http://j.mp/2GwOudd « Grief Healing

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.