In Grief: Having a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

A reader writes: I lost both my parents and it sucks. My father died before I even graduated from college. For me, I wanted to make my parents proud by going to college, and getting a good paying job and helping them out financially. My father died before I even graduated, and he never saw me off to my real professional job. Life seemed pointless. My dream was killed. A part of me died. Our family was broken. We had to find a way to hold the table up with one person short. At that point, I realized that the most important thing to me was to spend as much time as I could with family, especially my mom, since she was hurting so much because she lost her companion. She became my best friend and we did everything together. And I was happy. I just wanted time with my family. And then last month my mother passes away. I'm so shocked I can't believe it. Now what I lived for, just got killed again. 
I am having a terrible, horrible day today. I just can't get myself together. The last few nights I've been dreaming about my mother, but last night I didn't. So I woke up this morning feeling hurt, angry, abandoned, depressed, sad. And I did not want to get out of bed. This whole day has been horrible. I went to the grave site and just screamed my lungs out, till I felt like I was going to pass out. My mom was all we had....and now she's gone. I'm so angry! Words can't express what I'm feeling. There's no word in the world that can sum up all the excruciating pain and hurt I feel. I find myself avoiding everyone and giving everyone the mean eye to avoid me. Get out of my way, leave me alone. I've started a hunger strike and find myself crying and driving at high speeds. I just can't take it any more. So if you see me on the road.....I'm sorry... Read on here >>>

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