Voices of Experience: My Second Chapter: Life, Marriage, Family

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A great relationship is about two things: first, appreciating the similarities and second, respecting the diffrences.  ~ Anonymous

Michelle Jarvie is a mentor, educator and author of Then and Now: Changed Perspectives of a Young Widow, her book about surviving the traumatic death of her first husband James, who was killed in a motor vehicle crash in 2008. Michelle remarried five years later, and now lives with her husband Sean and their daughter Ruthie in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Connect with her online at MichelleJarvie.com.

Many people ask me, What’s it really like being re-married? My widow(er) friends want to know if I’m as happy as I was in my first marriage, if I compare my two husbands, why I’d risk being a widow again, and most importantly, if my new husband is understanding. Can you talk about James with him? Is he jealous?

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 8 - January 14, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grief's Coloring Book, http://bit.ly/2jECcA2 « Widower's Grief

Understanding Rubin's 2-Track Model of Bereavement, http://bit.ly/2ikXRvQ « What's Your Grief?

Caring for a Loved One: The Letter Every Caregiver Should Write, http://bit.ly/2iGfuHL« Grief In Common

Coping with Pet Loss, January 8 - January 14, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Horse is overcome with grief at funeral, http://bit.ly/2iVseen « NZ Herald

Grieving Your Animal Best Friend, http://huff.to/2jlwVNw « HuffPost Living

End-of-Life Care Guidelines offer options for pet owners with terminally ill pets, http://bit.ly/2iw66q2 « PetsMatter

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.

If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

When Death Happens: Tips for Helping The Mourner

Find the latest version of this post here:

In Grief: Supporting Someone Soon After A Death

If this is your first encounter with someone in mourning, you are wise to do some reading about the grief experience, and to let go of some of the harmful myths you may have heard about grief and healing. Don’t assume that the person who seems to be experiencing little pain or sorrow is “doing well” with grief. Take some time to review your own personal experiences of death and grief, recalling who died, what was helpful and not helpful to you, and how you felt about it.

Caregiving and Hospice, January 1 - January 7, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What is Aromatherapy and How Can It Help Those Facing Death? http://bit.ly/2i0tbVm « Seven Ponds Blog

The Power of Personalized Music: "I Get to Be Me," http://bit.ly/2iLVpm9 « Music & Memory

How to Plan for Death and End of Life Arrangements, http://bit.ly/2izsaku « Reader's Digest

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 1 - January 7, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

My Second Chapter: Life, Marriage, Family, http://bit.ly/2i1UjDK « Open to Hope

Please read this before you post another RIP on social media. http://u.pw/2i2cUe1 « Up Worthy

Talking to Children About Death, http://bit.ly/2i0vx20 « Psychology Today

Caregiving in Serious Illness: 8 Ways You Can Help

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[Reviewed and updated April 6, 2025]

Be a merciful presence to the dying and family as they are able to get their arms around deeper levels of reality. ~ Greg Yoder, in Companioning the Dying: A Soulful Guide for Counselors and Caregivers

As mentioned in an earlier post, grief occurs both in anticipation of and following a loss. Grief does not wait for a death to happen; it begins as soon as a person becomes aware that death may happen: when a life-threatening illness is diagnosed or a terminal prognosis is given. Family caregivers are in mourning too, well before the death occurs. They are coping not only with their own feelings of grief and loss, but also with physical and mental fatigue, and often feel overwhelmed with all the financial, legal, medical, and personal responsibilities associated with caregiving.

If you know someone whose loved one is terminally ill, you may be wondering what you might do to help ease their burden.

Caregiving and Hospice, December 25 - December 31, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Give the gift that keeps on giving: straight talk on end-of-life care, http://bit.ly/2hWhnQ6 « STAT

Dying Isn't Fighting Death, http://bit.ly/2iGoZKA « Seven Ponds Blog

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.
If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 25 - December 31, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Buh Bye, 2016, http://bit.ly/2isEzZB « Modern Loss

Grief Diaries: Through The Eyes of Men, http://amzn.to/2iNS46X

Using Children's Books to Help with Grief, http://bit.ly/w4PFMh « Grief Healing

Voices of Experience: My Brother's Love Became My Angel

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That is the tragedy of losing an older brother. He stays still. You keep on and one day become the older one. It's unnatural, that reversal. It's the thing that keeps the family from ever being whole again.  ~ Tiffany McDaniel, The Summer that Melted Everything

As I was clearing out some old files the other day, I came upon the following piece. It's a post that appeared some 15 years ago on what was then my website's message board. I saved it because its wisdom touched my heart, and I share it with all of you today in hopes that it touches yours. ♥

It has been 33 years since I had to experience the loss of a loved one first hand. It happened when my brother was killed by a drunk driver while standing at the side of the road. He was 21 years old. I was twelve. The experience that followed, my view of it all, and my eventual comforting conclusions of what had transpired in my life is what I want to share with you.