Caregiving in Serious Illness: 8 Ways You Can Help

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[Reviewed and updated April 6, 2025]

Be a merciful presence to the dying and family as they are able to get their arms around deeper levels of reality. ~ Greg Yoder, in Companioning the Dying: A Soulful Guide for Counselors and Caregivers

As mentioned in an earlier post, grief occurs both in anticipation of and following a loss. Grief does not wait for a death to happen; it begins as soon as a person becomes aware that death may happen: when a life-threatening illness is diagnosed or a terminal prognosis is given. Family caregivers are in mourning too, well before the death occurs. They are coping not only with their own feelings of grief and loss, but also with physical and mental fatigue, and often feel overwhelmed with all the financial, legal, medical, and personal responsibilities associated with caregiving.

If you know someone whose loved one is terminally ill, you may be wondering what you might do to help ease their burden.

Caregiving and Hospice, December 25 - December 31, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Give the gift that keeps on giving: straight talk on end-of-life care, http://bit.ly/2hWhnQ6 « STAT

Dying Isn't Fighting Death, http://bit.ly/2iGoZKA « Seven Ponds Blog

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.
If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 25 - December 31, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Buh Bye, 2016, http://bit.ly/2isEzZB « Modern Loss

Grief Diaries: Through The Eyes of Men, http://amzn.to/2iNS46X

Using Children's Books to Help with Grief, http://bit.ly/w4PFMh « Grief Healing

Voices of Experience: My Brother's Love Became My Angel

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That is the tragedy of losing an older brother. He stays still. You keep on and one day become the older one. It's unnatural, that reversal. It's the thing that keeps the family from ever being whole again.  ~ Tiffany McDaniel, The Summer that Melted Everything

As I was clearing out some old files the other day, I came upon the following piece. It's a post that appeared some 15 years ago on what was then my website's message board. I saved it because its wisdom touched my heart, and I share it with all of you today in hopes that it touches yours. 

It has been 33 years since I had to experience the loss of a loved one first hand. It happened when my brother was killed by a drunk driver while standing at the side of the road. He was 21 years old. I was twelve. The experience that followed, my view of it all, and my eventual comforting conclusions of what had transpired in my life is what I want to share with you.

Caregiving and Hospice, December 18 - December 24, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

My Wishes For You This Christmas, http://j.mp/1wVMU8c « Grief Healing

6 reasons why you might have to put someone with dementia in a memory care facility, http://bit.ly/2i6sOIw « Alzheimer's Reading Room

How Can Caregivers Support Patients Without Suffering Themselves? http://bit.ly/2gYRaSU « Seven Ponds Blog

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.
If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 18 - December 24, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Updated: Coping with the Holidays: Suggested Resources 2016, http://bit.ly/2g7m25n « Grief Healing

Ease Grief by Volunteering, http://bit.ly/2hZ3rb9 « Seven Ponds Blog

New father loss song: Lukas Graham single, You're Not There, http://bit.ly/2ifgzcR « AfterTalk

Coping with Pet Loss, December 18 - December 24, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Don Lawson's Musical Tribute to Departed Animal Friends, http://ow.ly/wriT307eLnT « YouTube

How to Make Pet Loss Easier to Bear, http://bit.ly/2hivotH « A Good Goodbye

The grief of pet loss is traumatic and universal. So why don't we talk about it? http://bit.ly/2hLUQbF « The Guardian

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.
If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Grief Support Group: Should I Stay or Leave?

I will leave when the pain of staying is greater than the pain of leaving.  ~ Unknown

A reader writes: I've been attending a loss of spouse group for a couple months now, and last night was the first time that the whole group came at one time. It was 8 widows, all in various stages of loss. It is held at a time I normally would not be out of the house. Well, last night when I got home, I felt myself over stimulated; not emotional, but just not able to quiet my mind. I find myself worrying about one of the members. She is just two months out and she used the word desperate. She is on an anti-depressant and anti-anxiety meds, and feels they aren't working. It is not my place to say anything, but I am concerned for her.

Caregiving and Hospice, December 11 - December 17, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Helping caregivers get to know who their patients once were, before dementia, http://wapo.st/2hZLqWy « The Washington Post

How to create a tangible pre-need keepsake, http://bit.ly/2hvp6oj « A Good Goodbye

21 Amazing Facts about Funeral Celebrants, http://bit.ly/2gHYKBg « Love Lives On

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 11 - December 17, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Powerful! A Life Worth Living, http://bit.ly/2hrIx1y « The Gift of Second

Voices of Experience: Helen's Christmas Gift, http://j.mp/uuOgZW « Grief Healing

Social Media Offers New Ways to Express Grief, http://bit.ly/2hfSH7I « SevenPonds Blog