In Grief: Everyone's Loss Is Somehow Different But The Same

[Reviewed and updated September 29, 2024]

A reader writes: Every time I hear someone call my husband's name I am reminded that he is gone. He was so young. My grown children were very angry at God that he took their father at 66, they thought it wasn't fair, he didn't have more time on earth. Still, I read this morning of a widow whose husband was only 46, that is really very very young. We all think this terrible thing is only happening to us until we read of others and their pain, and then we can understand everyone's loss is somehow different but the same.

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 23 - December 29, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

Our Most-Read Stories of 2018, http://j.mp/2QUyVSd « Modern Loss

Mary Poppins Returns Gets Grief Right, http://j.mp/2BXVOdl « What's Your Grief?

Grief Can Actually Kill You, And Scientists Have Figured Out Why, http://j.mp/2QO61TP « Science Alert

From My Heart to Yours This Christmas

Yes, Santa Claus is real ~ 

There is a spirit illuminating the lights and sparkle ~
a quality 
that can be found 
under the whoosh of sleds 
and the memories of ornaments.

Caregiving and Hospice, December 16 - December 22, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

Documentary Review: "The Sum Total of Our Memory: Facing Alzheimer's Together," http://j.mp/2QH43o0 « Seven Ponds Blog

Nurses Again Outpace Other Professions for Honesty, Ethics, http://j.mp/2QHl3KR « GALLUP

What the FDA forgets in the battle against e-cigarettes, http://j.mp/2QJpncu « Kevin MD

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 16 - December 22, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

Christmas Eve Luminarias: A New Mexico Tradition, http://j.mp/2BC2rS2 « A Good Goodbye

Introducing the We Remember Memorialization Service, http://j.mp/2BxtvBZ « A Good Goodbye

Coping with The Holidays: Suggested Resources 2018, http://bit.ly/2AMA8Br « Grief Healing

Voices of Experience: The Christmas Cap

By Cathy Cash Spellman

There it was on top of the armoire, quiet in the dust of the years, the bright red newsboy cap that had been my Father's favorite as long as I could remember. Like the tin soldier in Eugene Field's poem Little Boy Blue, "awaiting the touch of a little hand, the smile of a little face," tucked away long ago and then forgotten in the crush of every day needs and the inexorable turning of the years.

Touching it with reverent fingers, I was a child again, the years dissolved, my father's hand in mine, laughing with me in the snow.

Caregiving and Hospice, December 9 - December 15, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What Is The Advance Directive For Dementia?  http://j.mp/2BiNQLk « Seven Ponds Blog

Caregiver Checklist: 5 Things to Prepare When Caring for a Loved One at Home, http://bit.ly/2NzNMem « Hospice Red River Valley

Dr. Ira Byock Says Words are a Powerful Tool That Shape How We View Serious Illness, http://j.mp/2LfXMdf « CSU Institute for Palliative Care

Understanding and Managing Grief: December 9 - December 15, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Five things you need to know about your life after loss, http://j.mp/2LgPn9i « Second Firsts

Widowed and Scary~ http://j.mp/2LhN5Xi « Soaring Spirits International

Grief Doesn't Take a Holiday, http://j.mp/2Le4YXa « Widower's Grief

Coping with Pet Loss, December 9 - December 15, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Mobile pet hospice a labor of love for area veterinarian, http://j.mp/2LguNWw « Ahwatukee Foothills News

Did you Know that Hospice Care is for Cats Too? http://j.mp/2LiwPpl « Kitten Toob

Paw Prints: Growing trend: Hospice care for pets, http://j.mp/2C0vWOU « Tribune Star

In Grief: When Church Community Support Is Lacking

[Reviewed and updated March 18, 2021]

With all of the books, articles, videos and seminars available in the world, ignorance on the part of the church or the clergy is no longer defensible. They should know what to say.  ~ Doug Manning

A reader writes: I’m not sure if my feelings are valid or not and I need an outside source to help me with this. To make a long story short, our family has attended a church for around 5 years; this church runs an average attendance of between 500 – 600 people every week. We are very active with the youth group. My problem is that when my father died two months ago, I received only three cards (one very generic from the church, one emailed and one hand delivered), one phone call (from the pastor which was left on the answering machine) and the only two people who attended the viewing or the funeral (the pastor and youth pastor). No flower, food or any other kind of support was offered to us at all. My question is should I be hurt by this…because I am!!!!!!!!!!