Saying that I was experiencing “anticipatory grief” would not have come close to capturing all the nuances and struggles, unique for me, as it is for everyone. ~ Donna S. Davenport
A colleague writes: I have a request to consult tomorrow with counseling staff at a high school regarding a staff member just diagnosed with a stage four brain tumor. Looking through your rich web site I'm saying to myself, "Articles, and books and messages, oh, my." Can you help me go to materials on anticipatory grieving, or feeling our own mortality/vulnerability, or helping someone cope with a terminal illness?? You may be able to help me sort through so I can go straight to the meat this busy day before I must show up ready to help! Many thanks if you can help at this last moment.My response: You might consider bringing several copies of my article, Helping Another in Grief, to share with staff members. You can also point them to the companion resource list found here: Helping Another in Grief: Suggested Resources.
As you may already know, there are many cancer-support sites on the Internet—some more helpful than others. I believe the most reliable place to begin is my Care Giving Links page. There you’ll find dozens of sites I’ve personally reviewed, all devoted to supporting individuals and families coping with a terminal diagnosis.
You can preview these resources yourself and then either direct others to the Care Giving page on my site or print a short, curated list of the sites you feel would be most helpful for this particular situation.
Here is just a sampling I've pulled for you, to give you (and others who may be reading this) an idea of what is "out there":
Websites
American Cancer Society: Online Communities and Support
AARP Community Connections
Calling All Angels Foundation: Cancer and Terminal Illness Support
Canadian Breast Cancer Network
Cancer Care Support Services
Cancer Care Connection
Websites
American Cancer Society: Online Communities and Support
AARP Community Connections
Calling All Angels Foundation: Cancer and Terminal Illness Support
Canadian Breast Cancer Network
Cancer Care Support Services
Cancer Care Connection
Cancer Foundation: R. A. Bloch
Cancer Hope Network
Cancer.Net
Cancer Support Community
Cancer Support Services for Patients and Families: M.D. Anderson Cancer Center
Cancer Hope Network
Cancer.Net
Cancer Support Community
Cancer Support Services for Patients and Families: M.D. Anderson Cancer Center
Diagnosing Illness: Cancer Support Resources
FDA For Consumers and Illegally Sold Cancer Treatments
Life Without Judgment
Nancy's List
National Cancer Institute: Coping with Cancer -- For Families and Friends
National Comprehensive Cancer Network
FDA For Consumers and Illegally Sold Cancer Treatments
Life Without Judgment
Nancy's List
National Cancer Institute: Coping with Cancer -- For Families and Friends
National Comprehensive Cancer Network
The Patient Story: Honest Cancer Stories from Patients and Caregivers
Walking with Jane: NET Cancer Information
Articles
Ambiguous Losses: A Brother's Cancer Diagnosis
Walking with Jane: NET Cancer Information
Articles
Ambiguous Losses: A Brother's Cancer Diagnosis
Anticipatory Grief and Mourning
Be Prepared for Emergencies As Death Nears
Breast Cancer, Never Give Up
Cancer
Cancer Costs: How to Manage Housing Expenses During Treatment
Be Prepared for Emergencies As Death Nears
Breast Cancer, Never Give Up
Cancer
Cancer Costs: How to Manage Housing Expenses During Treatment
Cancer Guide: When You Need the Right Questions
Cancer-Related Anxiety
Cancer: What Does It Mean to Get Palliative Care?
Caregiving in Serious Illness: A List of Resources
Chemotherapy, Expectations and Heavy Machinery: Warnings and Suggestions
Complacent? When Living with Cancer No Longer Works
Confronting a Terminal Diagnosis As A Family
Cancer-Related Anxiety
Cancer: What Does It Mean to Get Palliative Care?
Caregiving in Serious Illness: A List of Resources
Chemotherapy, Expectations and Heavy Machinery: Warnings and Suggestions
Complacent? When Living with Cancer No Longer Works
Confronting a Terminal Diagnosis As A Family
Coping with a Cancer Diagnosis: Anticipatory Grief in Caregiving
Dear every cancer patient I ever took care of, I'm sorry. I didn't get it.
Dear every cancer patient I ever took care of, I'm sorry. I didn't get it.
Does Medicare Cover Cancer Treatment?
Eating Well During and After Your Cancer Treatment
Financial Assistance for Cancer Patients
Financial Resources Guide for Cancer Patients
Holding Space: How to Set Up a Home That Heals During Cancer Treatment
How to Cope After Losing A Loved One to Cancer
How to Speak to Someone Who's Suffering
In Grief: My Life Turned Upside Down
It’s Time We Cleared Up Some Misconceptions About Palliative Care
Legal Resources for Cancer Patients
Life in Jeopardy
Living with Cancer: Don't Call Us Survivors
Living with Cancer: Eight Things You Need to Know
Managing Chemotherapy Side Effects: A Guide for Patients
How to Cope After Losing A Loved One to Cancer
How to Speak to Someone Who's Suffering
In Grief: My Life Turned Upside Down
It’s Time We Cleared Up Some Misconceptions About Palliative Care
Legal Resources for Cancer Patients
Life in Jeopardy
Living with Cancer: Don't Call Us Survivors
Living with Cancer: Eight Things You Need to Know
Managing Chemotherapy Side Effects: A Guide for Patients
Navigating A Cancer Diagnosis
Preparing for the Death of a Terminally-Ill Loved One: What to Expect, and How to Help the Entire Family Move Forward
PTSD and Life After Cancer
7 Side Effects of Cancer Treatment, and How to Cope with Them
Sexuality and Illness - Breaking the Silence
Preparing for the Death of a Terminally-Ill Loved One: What to Expect, and How to Help the Entire Family Move Forward
PTSD and Life After Cancer
7 Side Effects of Cancer Treatment, and How to Cope with Them
Sexuality and Illness - Breaking the Silence
Should Our Dad Be Told That He's Dying?
Sleep and Cancer: How to Get Quality Rest During Cancer Treatments
Stress of Family Caregivers Attending Cancer Patients
The Conversation Project
Types of Palliative Care for Treating Cancer and Its Side Effects
12 Tips for Giving Patients Bad News
Voices: Anticipatory Grief Poem ~ "Edge of Day"
Walking the Tightrope of a Terminal Diagnosis
Sleep and Cancer: How to Get Quality Rest During Cancer Treatments
Stress of Family Caregivers Attending Cancer Patients
The Conversation Project
Types of Palliative Care for Treating Cancer and Its Side Effects
12 Tips for Giving Patients Bad News
Voices: Anticipatory Grief Poem ~ "Edge of Day"
Walking the Tightrope of a Terminal Diagnosis
What Is Palliative Care?
What Kinds of Stressors Do Cancer Patients Face And How Can A Social Worker Ease the Burden?
What Not to Say to Someone Who Is Dying
What to Say: Compassionate Cancer Etiquette
Books
Here are some books I would highly recommend (for caregivers, family, friends and co-workers) on coping with anticipatory grief:
All of Us Warriors: Cancer Stories of Survival and Loss
Being There for Someone in Grief
Both Sides Now: A True Story of Love, Loss and Bold Living
Companioning the Dying: A Soulful Guide for Caregivers
Facing Death and Finding Hope
Final Gifts : Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying
F*ck Cancer: A totally inappropriate self-affirming adult coloring book
The Four Things That Matter Most : A Book About Living
Handbook for Mortals: Guidance for People Facing Serious Illness
I Am With You: Love Letters to Cancer Patients
"I Have Cancer": 48 Things to Do When You Hear These Words
Lean On Me: Cancer through a Carer's Eyes
Life After the Diagnosis: Expert Advice on Living Well with Serious Illness for Patients and Caregivers
Living with Cancer: A Step-by-Step Guide for Coping Medically and Emotionally
Living with Grief When Illness is Prolonged
Loving, Supporting and Caring for The Cancer Patient
Smiling through Your Tears: Anticipating Grief
Final Gifts : Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying
F*ck Cancer: A totally inappropriate self-affirming adult coloring book
The Four Things That Matter Most : A Book About Living
Handbook for Mortals: Guidance for People Facing Serious Illness
I Am With You: Love Letters to Cancer Patients
"I Have Cancer": 48 Things to Do When You Hear These Words
Lean On Me: Cancer through a Carer's Eyes
Life After the Diagnosis: Expert Advice on Living Well with Serious Illness for Patients and Caregivers
Living with Cancer: A Step-by-Step Guide for Coping Medically and Emotionally
Living with Grief When Illness is Prolonged
Smiling through Your Tears: Anticipating Grief
The Four Things that Matter Most: A Book about Living
The Undying: Pain, Vulnerability, Mortality, Medicine, Art, Time, Dreams, Data, Exhaustion, Cancer, and Care
The Undying: Pain, Vulnerability, Mortality, Medicine, Art, Time, Dreams, Data, Exhaustion, Cancer, and Care
Hoping this helps, and good luck tomorrow!
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