Monday, November 19, 2018

Helping Another in Grief: Suggested Resources

[Updated October 29, 2021]

Why do we keep looking for support in all the wrong places? It's like shopping for milk in a hardware store!  ~ David Kessler

The ability to reach out to others, empathize with their pain and give hope in the face of the most devastating of circumstances is a rare and precious gift ~ and not always easy to find. Unless they've encountered death in a very personal way, most people really don't know what grief feels like and they may not know what, if anything, they can say or do to help us.

Dealing with the insensitivity of others when we're wanting and needing their support is one of the hardest aspects of mourning, most especially when it is our own friends and family members who just don't "get it." In such cases, we can look to others who stand ready to offer the understanding, comfort and support we need and deserve. We might also find it in our hearts to forgive the insensitive ones their shortcomings, find ways to inform and educate them, and show them how to do it better.

In my travels around the Internet, I've encountered a vast array of resources specifically addressing this matter of helping another in grief, and many are listed below ~ including links to a number of articles I've found, some books I've read myself and personally recommend, and several helpful and informative websites. As always, if you have a resource you'd like to see added, please let me know in the Comments section below.


6 Coping Skills to Work Through Grief by Hope Gillette and Sandra Silva Casabianca

50 Practical Gestures to Help A Grieving Friend by Hospice and Palliative Care of Greensboro

A Millennial's Guide to Grief in a Digital World by Crossroads Hospice and Palliative Care

A Wish List for Those Around You by Steve G

Advocating for Wholeness: Bereaved Parental Self Care by Kara L.C. Jones

Animals Are the Best Medicine by Roberta Taylor, LPN

Child Loss: Supporting A Sibling In Grief by Marty Tousley

Common Myths, Misconceptions about Grief by Marty Tousley

Company Prepares to Welcome Employee Back after Stillbirth by Monica Novak

Connecting to Grief: Men's Paths to Healing by Tom Golden

Coping As You Anticipate a Loss by Marty Tousley

Empathy 101: Five Tips for Supporting People in Grief by Carrie Doubts

Finding Reliable Grief Information and Support on the Internet by Marty Tousley

Fixing a Hole: Grieving with Other Men by Tom Golden

Five Important People You Will Attract in Grief by Gary Roe

Follow Your Heart When You Have a Chance to Comfort the Bereaved by Monica Novak

Funeral Etiquette: Things You Should Never Say At A Funeral by Chris Raymond

Grief Goes to Work: Part One by Patrick T. Malone

Grief Goes to Work, Part II by Patrick T. Malone

Grief Support Group Didn't Help--Now What? by Marty Tousley

Grief Support: When Others Fail to Meet Our Expectations by Marty Tousley

Helping A Grieving Parent by Helen Fitzgerald

Helping A Grieving Parent by Marty Tousley

Helping A Friend Who Is Dying by Alan D. Wolfelt

Helping A Suicide Survivor Heal by Alan D. Wolfelt

Helping Another in Grief by Marty Tousley

Helping A Friend with Child Loss by Marty Tousley

Helping a Grieving Parent by Marty Tousley

Helping Bereaved Parents Cope by Sandy Fox

Helping Children Cope with a Parent’s Serious Illness by Marty Tousley

Helping Children Cope with Grief by Alan D. Wolfelt

Helping Grieving Children: A List of Suggested Resources by Marty Tousley

Helping the Grieving Child in School by Linda Goldman

Helping Someone through Their Grief by Jill

Helping Teenagers Cope with Grief by Alan D. Wolfelt

Helping The Bereaved Respond to "Well-Intentioned" Comments by William G. Hoy

Helping Your Bereaved Friend by Helen Fitzgerald

Helping Your Friends Help You from What's Your Grief?

How Can We Help Grieving Children? by Joy Johnson

How Do You Know When to Contact Hospice? by Marty Tousley

How Friendships May Change for Bereaved by Brenda Marshall

How to Ask for More Help -- or Less by Laurie Spector and Ruth Spector Webster

How to Help a Grieving Person from Journey of Hearts

How to Help Friends Dealing with Grief Over Divorce by Karen Finn

How to Help Our Friends Help Us When We Are Grieving by Joy Johnson

How to Support A Child After A Tragedy from Center for Grieving Children

How to Support A Friend in Times of Grief by Amelia Evans

6 Steps to Support A Friend After Sexual Assault from Joyful Heart Foundation

How to Support Someone Affected by Suicide by the Jed Foundation

How We Mourn: Understanding Our Differences by Marty Tousley

In Grief: "Being There" for Someone in Mourning by Marty Tousley

In Grief: Helping My Partner Mourn His Dad When I'm Still Mourning My Mom by Marty Tousley

In Grief: Mourning The Loss of A Friend by Marty Tousley

It's Okay That You're Awkward, You Can Still Be A Great Friend by Megan Devine

Keeping and Sharing Memories of Our Babies by Monica Novak

Let's Stop Judging Others' Pain by Alice Wisler

Losing Someone Doesn't Make Me A Resident Grief Expert by Jordan Emmons

Maybe This Will Help - What I Know about Grief and Support by Staci Sulin

My Ex-BFF Keeps Posting About Grief. Should I Reach Out? by Nayomi Reghay

Pet Therapy: Therapeutic Use of Pets

Pet Therapy: Visiting Pets and Animal Assisted Therapy

Public Grief Rituals: What You Can Do by Joy Johnson

Re-membering Practices by Lorraine Hedke, MSW

7 Characteristics of Safe, Supportive People by Gary Roe

7 Things You Should Do for A Grieving Friend by Megan Devine

Stuffing Emotions Isn't a Good Grief Strategy  by Steve Harris

Support the Support by Pamela Hester King

Supporting a Bereaved Parent, From a Distance by Marty Tousley

Supporting a Grieving Person from AGIS

Sympathy Gift Ideas for People Who've Lost A Loved One by Angela Morrow, RN

Tales from the Grief Revolution: Dealing with Judgement by Megan Devine

The Etiquette of Bringing Meals for Friends by Marilee McKee

The Mistake I Made With My Grieving Friend by Celeste Headlee

Tools for Healing - Grief Healing Discussion Groups Forum

Tools for Healing - Grief Healing Pinterest Board

Understanding Abortion Grief and the Recovery Process 

Understanding the Griever: How Others Can Help by Alice Wisler

Using Children's Books to Help with Grief by Marty Tousley

How Can I Control My Anger? by Christian Nordqvist

What I Wish My Friends Had Said to Me After My Mom Died by Chelsea Gray

Words That Comfort by Robbie Miller Kaplan


A Good Friend for Bad Times: Helping Others Through Grief by Deborah E. Bowen and Susan L. Strickler

Angel Catcher: A Journal of Loss and Remembrance by Kathy Eldon

Barbara Karnes Books by Barbara Karnes, RN

Companioning the Bereaved: A Soulful Guide for Caregivers by Alan D. Wolfelt

Dying to Be Free: A Healing Guide for Families after a Suicide by Beverly Cobain and Jean Larch

Facing Death and Finding Hope: A Guide To The Emotional and Spiritual Care Of The Dying by Christine Longaker

Finding Your Way through Grief: A Guide for the First Year by Marty Tousley

Grief Bibliography compiled by the bereaved, for the bereaved

Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations for Working through Grief by Martha Whitmore Hickman

Helping Grieving People When Tears Are Not Enough: A Handbook for Care Providers by J. Shep Jeffreys

How to Survive the Loss of a Love by Colgrove, Bloomfield and McWilliams

Living Life Dying Death: A Guide to Healthy Conversations by Jennifer Collins Taylor

Grieving Beyond Gender: Understanding The Ways Men and Women Mourn by Kenneth J. Doka and Terry L. Martin

Mourning Has Broken: A Collection of Creative Writing about Grief and Healing by Liz Pearl and Mara Koven-Gelman

Past Perfect! Present Tense! Insights from One Woman's Journey As the Wife of a Widower by Julie Donner Andersen

Please Be Patient, I'm Grieving: How to Care for and Support The Grieving Heart by Gary Roe

Sheltering Thoughts about Loss and Grief by Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill

Stepping Through The Awkwardness by Marilyn Gryte

Tear Soup: A Recipe for Healing after Loss by Pat Schwiebert

The Art of Condolence : What to Write, What to Say, What to Do at a Time of Loss by Leonard M. Zunin and Hilary Stanton Zunin

The Depression of Grief: Coping with Your Sadness and Knowing When to Get Help by Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD

The Precious Present by Spencer Johnson, MD

Internet COVID Resource Guide Compiled by Camille B. Wortman and Jessica M.S. Gregory


Centering Corportation 
- YouTube Video

Griefcast: Informational Series with J. Shep Jeffreys, Ed.D. - Audio

How Do You Help A Grieving Friend? - YouTube video

How to Comfort Someone Who's Lost a Loved One - YouTube video

How to Help A Grieving Friend - Resources Overview via Refuge in Grief

My Sister Won't Let Go of Her Daughter's Death - Video with Byron Katie

Sorry for Your Loss - 10-episode series on Facebook Watch

What to Say - What Not to Say - to Someone Who's Grieving - GriefHaven

What *Should* You Say When Someone Dies? - Megan Devine Interview

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