Delayed Grief: When We Don't Take Time to Mourn

[Reviewed and updated February 22, 2024]

You can close your eyes to the things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to the things you don’t want to feel. ~ Johnny Depp

A reader writes: I don't know what's happening. It has been more than three years since my friend Jane died. We shared a home for over ten years. Both of our parents had died and our siblings were gone also. We were the only family that either of us had. After she died I went right back to work. Really I went back to overwork. Last December I went to Kenya for four months; when I came back I was not working. I started having dreams about Jane. She would go somewhere and I couldn't find her. I would wake up in a panic.

Caregiving and Hospice, March 26- April 1, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

How to prepare for a good death, http://bit.ly/2nI7edy « Ideas.TED.com

College students partner with hospice to learn caregiving, http://bit.ly/2op1QMs « The State Press

The Nurse Who Admits Patients to Hospice Care, http://nym.ag/2np1mVw « NY Magazine

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 26- April 1, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

6 Vital Questions in Bereavement Assessment and Support, http://bit.ly/2oAM2W4 «
Grief Perspectives

Addiction: The Terminal Illness No One Talks About, http://bit.ly/2nymond « Seven Ponds Blog

Updated: Tips for Coping with Sleeplessness in Grief, http://bit.ly/hkoXnZ « Grief Healing

In Grief: Coping with Childlessness

Source

Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left.  ~ Hubert Humphrey

A reader writes: I just wanted to say Thank You for your site -- it's been a real help to me today, as I try and start to get my head around our childlessness. It's a strange grief as it's a loss that only I see -- to the rest of the world it's life as usual! I found your pieces on the process of grief really useful -- and the quotes and pieces of inspiration. I really needed some practical tips on coping with the mood swings - I found all the information on the grief work really helpful, and I realize that I need to leave more time and be kinder on myself. Over the past few weeks I've suddenly had a real desire to get a dog -- a pet I've never had before. Your pieces on companion animals have made me realize that this might not be such a daft idea after all.

Caregiving and Hospice, March 19 - March 25, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

How hospice helped my mother find peace, http://bit.ly/2nJQKnL « Kevin MD

Lawyers have no business in the field of advance care planning, http://bit.ly/2mwaP0J « Kevin MD

Palliative Care: Pro-Life, Pro-Choice, Pro-Dignity, and Pro-Family, http://huff.to/2mX5rDv « The Huffington Post

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 19 - March 25, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What Losing Your Mother Feels Like, http://j.mp/1xOAP1Q « The Huffington Post

Stress in Grief, http://bit.ly/2mZwD0V « What's Your Grief?

Dating After Loss of a Spouse, http://bit.ly/2mSLny9 « Grief in Common

Coping with Pet Loss, March 19 - March 25, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Things I Wish I Had Known When My Dog Died, http://nyti.ms/2nnlc5T « The New York Times

It can be harder to lose a dog than a relative or friend -- here's why, http://read.bi/2o01MTc « Business Insider

Respond to Friends' Pet Loss with Sympathetic Calls, Letters, http://bit.ly/2mZF1Nm « A Good Goodbye

Explaining Suicide to A Child

Find an updated version of this post here:

Explaining Dad's Suicide to A Child

A reader writes: My husband committed suicide six weeks ago. He left behind our nine-year-old son and myself. I know exactly why he killed himself. He had suffered years of physical pain, had emotiona If l problems, depression, manic depression and other problems, some of which were attributed to the fact he had no male role model in his youth. His biological father left when he was five. His stepfather showed him no love or support whatsoever and his mother suffered from depression. He had not worked in many years and felt useless. He felt that his manhood was gone and thought the only way out was to overdose. He said in his suicide note that his race was done. He had become very difficult to live with.

Caregiving and Hospice, March 12 - March 18, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Seven facts you might not know about hospice, http://bit.ly/2n0eiU9 « Kitsap Sun

Have Your Wishes For Care Known Before A Health Crisis Strikes, http://n.pr/2mqI4yB « NPR

Palliative Care: Pro-Life, Pro-Choice, Pro-Dignity, and Pro-Family,  http://huff.to/2mX5rDv « The Huffington Post

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Understanding and Managing Grief, March 12 - March 18, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Why You Want A Physicist to Speak at Your Funeral, http://bit.ly/2nOGQ0x « A Good Goodbye

Stay in...and Cry, http://bit.ly/2njn5Bn « Christina Rasmussen

Grief In The Second Year: Finding Your Way, http://buff.ly/2n6Bm3O « Grief Healing