Mother Loss: College Student Feels Like Quitting

Some people succeed because they are destined but most because they are determined.  ~ Unknown

A reader writes: In my 20 years of living there was not a single day that I had spent without my mom. She was my world and I was hers. She was more like a best friend to me. She played video games with me, we went to trips together, she cooked food for me. It was like she was for me and I was for her. And then, within a matter of 3 days, I lost her. She was just 42.

In Grief: “I’ve Lost Everything That Was Normal”

There is something about losing a mother that is permanent and inexpressible—a wound that will never quite heal.  ~ Susan Wiggs

A reader writes: My mom died of cancer 3 months ago, after 7 years of fighting. I am 22 years old and I have lost everything that was normal. I miss my mom so very much, she was my very best friend. I just need someone to talk to that understands. I feel so alone. I am a Christian and that helps a lot but I literally don't have anyone, my dad had to move away, my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years broke up with me 1 week after the funeral and my friends are too into college and partying. I feel like I have been robbed.

In Grief: College Student Struggling with Too Many Losses

[Reviewed and updated April 25, 2025]

What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes part of us. ~ Helen Keller

A reader writes: I don't know what to say, what to do, or where to go anymore. I have lost four very good friends within a 10 month time span -- two to death, one to multiple strokes and the other is in a psych institution for the entirety of his life. They were all my good friends, friends I trusted, friends I confided in, friends I did things with; they were all I had, and, now, they are gone. I am lost, sad, alone, and as each and every day goes by I get lonelier and lonelier without them.

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 5 - March 11, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Patton Oswalt Explains How Pop Culture Gets Grieving All Wrong, http://n.pr/2mvAXpx « NPR

Grieving college students: Find an AMF chapter on your college campus, http://bit.ly/2mKut8n « Actively Moving Forward

10 Things Only A Griever Understands, http://bit.ly/2n83i8u « The Grief Toolbox

In Grief: College Student Considers Dropping Out of School

Find an updated version of this post here: 

Mother Loss: College Student Feels Like Quitting

A reader writes: In my 20 years of living there was not a single day that I had spent without my mom. She was my world and I was hers. She was more like a best friend to me. She played video games with me, we went to trips together, she cooked food for me. It was like she was for me and I was for her. And then, within a matter of 3 days, I lost her. She was just 42.

Teen Struggles with Reaction to Dad's Death

Source

[Reviewed and updated July 3, 2021]

A reader writes: My dad died a little over two weeks ago. He was not sick. He was caught in an undercurrent and drowned. I did not witness it but I heard the stories and have been there enough to be able to picture it. He was not an amazing dad; he worked a lot to provide for us and that's how he showed his love. I started school the Monday after it happened (he drowned on Friday and they found his body on Sunday). I am not crying that much. I can still have a good time. I feel guilty when I do have a good time. I'm worried about not dealing with it because I have a history with very bad depression and have been on 100 mg Zoloft for a while now, so what is wrong with me? My dad just died and life is still going on like normal and a lot of the time I feel relatively normal and am not crying that much. How to deal with it and what is wrong with me????

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 2 - September 8, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Use Social Networks To Cope With The Death Of Your Loved One, http://j.mp/QbjBGZ by Lou LaGrand « The Grief Toolbox  

• Things Not to Say to People Who Are Grieving,  http://j.mp/PbZxGG « The Grief Toolbox   

• 3 Truths You Must Know About Your Grief, http://wp.me/p1l0Zh-9W by @griefminister01

• Stunning grief poem: For the Night, http://buff.ly/Qpv47Q via @survivegrief

• Kids and Funerals -- Do They Belong Together? http://j.mp/TsFWoe by Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 26 - September 1, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Reflections of you are always in my heart, http://j.mp/OFBjRC by @TheGriefToolbox 

• Terrific review of the entire series, "Six Feet Under,"  http://j.mp/RxLsjl by Gail Rubin « The Family Plot Blog 

• "Great tips and links for anyone supporting someone in grief," http://j.mp/Mamfjj by @GriefHealing via @MyCastleHeart  

• Stronger than you think you are: Widow's Voice: The Things I've Done, http://j.mp/QxUIsO 

• Is Lingering in Grief Right or Wrong? http://j.mp/Q14yl8 « Grief Digest Magazine

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 19 - August 25, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Secondary loss: Maggie's Cool Car - A Goodbye, http://j.mp/Qz1qZQ

• Great read! Robin Amos Kahn: How Your Loss Can Transform You, http://j.mp/PMDN3z

• Lovely! "Grief is to be trusted, not treated," http://j.mp/Ob7VGb by @survivegrief

• Grief Beyond Belief: Faith-free support for non-religious people, http://j.mp/zzbmYe

• Powerful story from Grief Digest Magazine » Growing Up, http://j.mp/PYtsTX

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 22 - April 28, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Outstanding newsletter from Bill Hoy: Preparing for the End of Life, http://j.mp/KijxQO
  
  
• Compelling! Grief Update — Two Years and One Month,  http://j.mp/IrhP4q « Bertram's Blog
  
  
• The healing power of two loved cats | Herald Sun, http://j.mp/I8xtxT
  
  
• "No one to blame but God" ~ Teen Mourns the Death of Her Best Friend, http://j.mp/I8yCph by Marty Tousley
  
  
• Love and death on the Springsteen tour, http://bit.ly/JdqRMT (Love this! Thanks to @_lizzy_)
  
  
• Grief at work: Tips for dealing with the death of a co-worker, http://wp.me/p1HmLc-dY via @cjbryant
  
  
• The Gardenia Bush – Kelly Buckley, on pruning so we can heal, http://j.mp/IomlSv
  
  
• Amazing video: Stillbirth & Surfing: A Grief Journey, http://bit.ly/nUQ1je  via  @betherann
  
  
• Powerful project: 'Debris violins' pull at heartstrings, http://bit.ly/IGGtLz via @_lizzy_
  
  
• Beautiful! A Father’s Eulogy for his Son, http://shar.es/rVRTA from @SixSeedsTV via @amyjuliabecker at @patheos
  
  
• FriendGrief: Dying Matters 2012, http://j.mp/JBGvbI
  
  
• Touching story! How Friends Can Help after a Suicide, http://j.mp/IS44Iu
  
  
• Stan Goldberg: Knowing what to do is not the same as knowing how to do it, http://j.mp/IvcXKf
  
  
• Explaining Death to Children: Simple Gestures to Comfort, http://shar.es/rVnrf via @TheGriefToolbox
  
  
• Beautiful! Promises to Keep: When a Parent is Dying | Hello Grief, http://j.mp/JDzV1x
  
  
• Be part of National College Student Grief Awareness Week, http://shar.es/rRPyJ via @TheGriefToolbox
  
  
• This is National College Student #Grief Awareness Week, http://bit.ly/JNffBt from @HelloGrief via @How_We_Die
  
  
• Sibling Grief: Love, loss and what she wore, http://zite.to/IfHdol via @Ms_Bix
  
  
• Updated: Healing Grief through the Gift of Volunteering, http://j.mp/hO4In3
  
  
• National College Student Grief Awareness Week, April 22-28, 2012, http://j.mp/HVNPd8
  
  
• Sandy Fox: Not Leading a Grief Stricken Life, http://j.mp/J1GWoS
  
  

National College Student Grief Awareness Week, April 22-28, 2012

As noted in an earlier post, the National Students of AMF Support Network is dedicated to supporting college students coping with the illness or death of a loved one, and empowering all college students to fight back against terminal illness. To accomplish its mission, the organization helps students start local chapters nationwide.

With one-third to one-half of all college students grieving the illness or death of a loved one, Dr. Robert Neimeyer has called college student bereavement a “silent epidemic” that can have profound negative effects academically, socially, and developmentally. It is this organization's vision that every college student feels supported in times of grief, so a whole week has been created to make noise about this issue.

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 1 - April 7, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• "Very helpful site for those in grief and for those who love them," http://j.mp/Hrj6p6 via @mfhunt
  
  
• Men in grief need to be strong, or do they? http://shar.es/rW9BH via @TheGriefToolbox
  
  
• There is a difference between Loneliness and Solitude in Grief, http://shar.es/rHr79 via @TheGriefToolbox
  
  
• Uplifting! Mom discovers baby has Down syndrome, http://j.mp/HhnwBC « Maria Shriver Blog
  
  
• Insightful! Don’t Carry The Weight, http://j.mp/Hg34w5 « Rising Through Grief

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 18 - March 24, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Widow's Voice: A Message in a Dream, http://j.mp/GJRQ2Y
  
  
• Workplace Grief: IndyCar-Style, http://bit.ly/GS2N5f  on gender differences in grief, by @Victoria_Noe
  
  
• Helpful! What to Say to Grieving Nonbelievers, http://ow.ly/9PsY5 via @MadSciKat
  
  
• Video: Learn all about National Students of AMF, the organization for grieving college students, http://abc11.com
  
  
• Wonderful! Riding the Grief Train, http://j.mp/GJoJN8 by Jan Warner

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 14 - 20, 2011

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Disenfranchised Grief: Hierarchies of 9/11 Grief, http://t.co/hYc5InC by @friendgrief

• Balance grief with remembering well: a life (radically) well lived, http://t.co/XSBWGq7 by @Allison_Peacock

• Authors of @newgrief on 5-stages of grief, http://t.co/9qmYIHE via @deborahkerr @HarvardHlthBks

• Children and Grief Interview, http://t.co/gyeyRj8 by @katiecouric http://t.co/gCp6Bhc via @heart2soul

• Tips to help children deal with grief, http://ow.ly/63OFr via @HouHospice

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 5 - June 11, 2011

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Sacred Spaces for Grieving, to connect and remember, http://tinyurl.com/6hn8lb8 by @esdeer via @faymclean

• Free Father’s DayWebinar: The Many Aspects of Loss, Monday, June 13, http://t.co/nCf3f6C by @opentohope

• Death of a Sibling: Overlooked Grief, http://bit.ly/klUi2p via @hospicepharmacy

• Excellent! Helping Your Teen Understand Death and Grief, http://ow.ly/5dzV4 @KidsHealth via @Work2MakeChange

• Beautiful! Action preempts grief when assigning meaning to life's work, http://bit.ly/iyf2QL by @StoryForHealing

Support for Grieving College Students: How to Start a Local Chapter of Students of AMF

[Reviewed and updated May 21, 2024]

When faced with the added stresses and challenges of anticipatory grief and loss, college students are especially in need of campus-based grief support.  Living away from home for the first time, already struggling to establish autonomy from their families, and learning to cope with the academic and social pressures of college life, they need a safe place where they can meet with their peers, share their experiences of loss and process their grief.

The Actively Moving Forward (AMF) Support Network "is dedicated to supporting young adults grieving the illness or death of a loved one. The program accomplishes its mission by creating Actively Moving Forward Campus Chapters on college campuses nationwide that connect and empower grieving college students to support one another and participate in community service in memory of deceased loved ones, raising awareness about the needs of grieving young adults, including through the annual National College Student Grief Awareness Week, and hosting national grief support programs, such as the “We Get It” Supportive Blog, and events, such as the National Conference on College Student Grief. We also support non-collegiate young adults by creating a wealth of virtual information, programming, and community."

Students interested in getting involved in AMF by joining or starting a local chapter of Students of AMF can learn more here.

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here. 

Related:

• College Grief and Actively Moving Forward (AMF)
• In Grief: College Student Considers Dropping Out of School
• Parent Loss: Continuing Their Song

© by Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT, BC-TMH

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 10 - April 16

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• What Grief Is Really Like, http://nyti.ms/fTEgFR via @nytimeshealth

• National Students of AMF: grief support for college kids, http://bit.ly/fMbILL via@KitMcConnell

• Suffering: The Irritant That Produces the Pearl, http://bit.ly/hxE2hG

• "Thankful for......" The gift of grief, http://bit.ly/f8pjOZ by @DoyleDiana

• Prayer Registry Builds Hope and Community, http://fb.me/UVrMfNCO via @opentohope

National College Student Grief Awareness Week

Did you know that 22-30% of college students have lost a family member or close friend within the last year and 35-48% of undergraduate students have lost a family member or close friend within the last two years?

National College Student Grief Awareness Week is April 18-24, 2010. Learn more about how you can help raise awareness of this silent epidemic by visiting National Students of AMF Support Network and downloading the National Students of AMF Awareness Week Toolkit.

You can also attend National Students of AMF's Facebook event to get updates on Awareness Week activities.

National College Student Grief Awareness Week - April 18-24, 2010

This announcement comes to us from Staci Barfield, Executive Director of National Students of AMF:

The United States Census Bureau estimates that 18.4 million students enrolled in American colleges in 2009. And we know that 25% of college students are within twelve months of having experienced the loss of a loved one. So that means more than 4.5 million college students are grieving during a time in their lives that is already academically, socially, and developmentally challenging.

Whether you are grieving, know someone who is, or just want to help spread the word about how together we cope with grief, you are invited to take part in National College Student Grief Awareness Week, April 18 to 24, 2010.

Goals for the week are to raise awareness about the prevalence and impact of coping with the illness or death of a loved one during college, and to spread the word about National Students of AMF.

The mission of National Students of AMF is to support college students grieving the illness or death of a loved one.

To learn more about the organization or how you can get involved, visit www.studentsofamf.org or call 919.803.6728.  Contact Executive Director Staci Barfield via e-mail at staci@studentsofamf.org.

Support for College Students Facing or Coping with Loss

National Students of AMF, the Support Network “for college students with deceased or ailing mothers, fathers or loved ones,” shares the following announcement:

From the AMF Web site:

The National Students of AMF (deceased or "Ailing Mothers, Fathers," or loved ones) Support Network is the only organization dedicated to supporting college students coping with the illness or death of a loved one and empowering all college students to fight back against terminal illness.

We accomplish our mission by helping students to start chapters of Students of AMF on college campuses nationwide (currently 24), providing information and support through http://www.studentsofamf.org/ , raising awareness about the needs of grieving college students by annually hosting a National Conference on College Student Grief and National College Student Grief Awareness Week, and holding fundraising events, including the annual Boot Camp 2 Beat Cancer and AMF Banquet . . . Watch a 2-minute video about National Students of AMF at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxgnQUIyMow