When Does Grieving End?

Grief comes in three stages: the beginning, the middle, and the rest of your life.  ~ Candace Lightner

A reader writes: I have been reading a wonderful little book called Healing After Loss by Martha Hickman. It contains brief, one-page daily reflections to help people work through their grief.

Today's reading centered on this thought: "Sometimes the best choice is to be in my grief, sometimes not."

The author suggests that we can become so accustomed to living in a grieving state that, in some ways, it feels more comfortable than making the effort to step away from it.

In Grief: When A Counseling Relationship Is Ending

The only person you should ever fear losing in a relationship is you yourself. ~ Miya Yamanouchi

A reader writes: My situation isn't really typical of the reasons most people join your forums, but I am experiencing terrible grief and it's not something I can talk to anyone about because most people don't recognize or understand it. I feel incredibly alone.

I've seen a counselor for coming up to three years and she has helped me through some of the most difficult times of my life. I have a tough life with a long-term illness and I have a disabled child so I feel really isolated. I've been fortunate enough to see my counselor free at an agency and I feel really close to her. I'm not close to my family at all as I had a tough upbringing and I don't see my friends very often. I'm a single parent since my marriage broke down 5 years ago.

My counselor told me 4 weeks ago that she is leaving the agency due to personal circumstances.

In Grief: After Caregiving Ends, Who Am I?

Source

[Reviewed and Updated March 13, 2026]

Alongside the hole left by losing a loved one, a caregiver may be surprised to feel a different kind of loss: a foundering sense of purpose. It makes sense -- caregiving can be so consuming and can require such hard-won expertise that it can be difficult to regain a footing in "normal life" afterward. ~ Paula Spencer Scott

A reader writes: My mother died 2 weeks ago. I had been her caregiver for 21 years. I don't know what to do or how to live. Everything I did was based on what was best for Mom. In the last couple of years, as Mom began to weaken, I became so depressed. I would care for Mom but neglected housework and yard work. I was always too tired. Now, I can do whatever I want, whenever I want....but I don't know where to begin . . . all of this stuff just makes me so tired. I just want to sleep or watch TV. Is this normal grieving? How do I shake myself out of this non-productive funk?