Voices of Experience: Navigating Grief in the Wake of A Husband's Suicide

After taking her sons on a hike with the family dog one beautiful fall afternoon, Charlotte Maya returned home to find a police woman, a policeman, and a priest in her driveway—there to deliver the news of her husband’s suicide. Charlotte knew her husband had been stressed about work, but she had no idea he was suicidal. She thought he had stayed home to take a nap. 

As a young widow, Charlotte cried, cursed, meditated, medicated, downward-dogged, and ran as a way to make sense of her husband’s suicide. As the mother of two bereft sons, she summoned her inner strength and clarity in order to provide steady guidance for them to navigate their own ways through the ensuing months and years. Her story offers intimate moments, powerful lessons, as well as practical ways through which not only suicide survivors but any of us experiencing loss can move forward to live lives of joy and purpose.

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 19 - February 25, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Everyone's grief is different. Good intentions don't necessarily bring good advice. Giving advice can be a subtle route to power. Why You Can Ignore Advice About Grief « Psychology Today

Mother's Death Threatens Couple's Love Relationship

[Reviewed and updated April 19, 2025]

The death of a mother is the first sorrow wept without her.  ~ Unknown

A reader writes: I've been with my fiance for almost two years. His mother passed away unexpectedly nine months ago, and he was the one to find her. I understand this is a significant emotional struggle for anyone. I've tried to be there for him as much as possible, but any time he loses his temper, it's usually taken out on me.

Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, February 12 - February 18, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

If Dog Mountain were just a joyful place where dogs can run around, or plop into a nice pond, it would still be pretty special – 150 dog-friendly acres in the scenic hills of northern Vermont. But there is much, much more to this story. It's actually a real tear jerker, sweet but sad.  A dog lover's pilgrimage to Dog Mountain « CBS News

Teen Grief: Worried About My Daughter

[Reviewed and updated November 12, 2024]

Avoidance has never been a great tactic in solving any problem. For most situations in life, not addressing what's going on only makes matters worse.  ~ Luvvie Ajayi

A reader writes: My daughter is 16. Her brother was 17 when he was killed three months ago. As we live where there is no other family she had to be the second one to identify his body. She won't talk. It's like he never existed. I have tried getting her to counseling but she isn't interested. The counselor told me to just be here for her when she needs me and that she is taking her cues from me. But I am really worried that if she bottles this up it will compound later on. I'm not so sure I am right. Can you shed some light please?

Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, February 5 - February 11, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

February 14 can be a difficult day for those of us who are grieving, and for some it will be the first Valentine’s Day since our precious Valentine died. For us there is no celebration; there is only grief. Grief Rituals Can Help on Valentine's Day (Or Any Special Day) « Grief Healing

Pet Loss: When Needed Support Is Lacking

Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.  ~ Eliza Tabor

A reader writes: Dear Marty, since I lost my beloved animal companion a week ago I haven't been able to participate in your online Pet Loss Forum, as I cannot express in words the anguishing pain I’m feeling.  As vulnerable as I am, I cannot expose my feelings to anyone but the most deeply understanding people, and so I'm not ready to expose myself yet. I've already been further aggrieved by some around me, so can't take even one more slight hurt right now, whether intentional or not.

Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, January 29 - February 4, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

"No one warned me how badly grief can make you yearn for physical intimacy – or how much backlash I would get for wanting to talk about it." When grief makes you horny « The Spinoff

Disenfranchised Grief: When A Friend Dies

Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same.  ~ Flavia Weedn

A reader writes: A friend of mine died last month. I have been struggling to cope since then. We met only a few months ago when I did some work at the theater where he was based. We knew each other a very short time and I realize that if you've lost someone you've known for years this may seem so selfish and silly, but we really connected and I miss him so much.

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 22 - January 28, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Unlike other causes of death (like illnesses or accidents), which happen to the person, suicide is an act performed by the person who has chosen death, leaving bereaved survivors with guilt and haunting questions. Healing and Rebuilding Your Life After a Spouse's Suicide https://wb.md/3HDATzg