In Grief: Mourning An Abusive Mother

It may be hard to play the role of the mourning [daughter] when part of you is saying, ‘Free at last.' ~ Helen Fitzgerald

A reader writes: Two weeks ago, my mother died of metastatic cancer. We had a strained relationship our entire life together. Growing up she could be very cruel to me, and that is what ensued as I tried to care for her. Before her illness, we hadn’t spoken in almost 3 years, but I wanted to be there for her and support her. I forgave her before she died and asked that she forgive me, and I feel a certain amount of closure which we were able to create.

But just when things were going beautifully, it was as if some demonic entity took over her being.

Disenfranchised Grief: When A Friend Dies

Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same.  ~ Flavia Weedn

A reader writes: A friend of mine died last month. I have been struggling to cope since then. We met only a few months ago when I did some work at the theater where he was based. We knew each other a very short time and I realize that if you've lost someone you've known for years this may seem so selfish and silly, but we really connected and I miss him so much.

Death of A Friend: A Disenfranchised Grief

Find the updated version of this post here:

Disenfranchised Grief: When A Friend Dies

A reader writes: A friend of mine died last month. I have been struggling to cope since then. We met only a few months ago when I did some work at the theater where he was based. We knew each other a very short time and I realize that if you've lost someone you've known for years this may seem so selfish and silly, but we really connected and I miss him so much . . . There wasn't a funeral. If there was one, it was a family only affair. I have no contact with anyone else who knew him. 

In Grief: Mourning The Loss of A Friend

Source

[Reviewed and updated December 16, 2024]

The bond between friends cannot be broken by chance; no interval of time or space can destroy it. Not even death itself can part true friends.  ~ St. John Cassian

A reader writes: A while ago I lost my good friend in a tragic car accident. We had just talked the day before. I had called him to warn him about the storm warnings we had in our area and he told me he would call me back that evening but I didn’t hear from him. I tried calling him all the next day and into the evening but still did not get him. I thought something was off, but I never dreamed I would be getting the news I would be hearing the following day.

Coping with Grief on Father’s Day: Selected Resources

[Reviewed and updated June 15, 2025]

A boy loses his father, he quickly becomes a man. I was 22. I remember clearly the sobriety I felt in the pain of my father’s passing. The sorrow refined me, and I never looked at the world the same again. Everything I revered and looked up to suddenly dropped to eye level and felt more mortal and attainable, while everything I had patronized and looked down upon rose up to a more respectful eye level and wasn’t beneath me. The world was suddenly flat, and I looked it square in the eye with more courage and incentive than ever before. ~ Matthew McConaughey
                                             
Sunday is Father’s Day, a day set aside for honoring one’s own father (or father figure) and for celebrating fatherhood. But for those who are separated from or mourning the loss of a father or grandfather, or fathers mourning the loss of a child or grandchild, this can be instead a most difficult day to endure. If you find yourself or someone you love in these circumstances, know that you are not alone.

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 20 - March 26, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

My Love/Hate Relationship with Easter, http://j.mp/1SkucAi « MADD

Easter and Grief: An Inescapable Connection, http://j.mp/1nZlM6C « The Huffington Post

Picture book helps parents talk to little ones about death, http://ow.ly/XP7lL  « Just Enough Books