Keeping Their Ashes Close: Finding Comfort in Personal Remembrance

The kind of "blind obedience" once theologized as the ultimate step to holiness, is itself blind. It blinds a person to the insights and foresight and moral perspective of anyone other than an authority figure. — Sister Joan D. Chittister, OSB

Recently I came across a Facebook post linking readers to an article titled Vatican: No more scattering of cremation ashes. The article described the Vatican's recently reaffirmed (though long-standing) guidelines for Roman Catholics who choose cremation. According to those guidelines, cremated remains are not to be scattered, divided among family members, or kept at home. Instead, they are to be laid to rest in a place the Church recognizes as sacred.

The passionate responses the post generated reminded me of an exchange I had some time ago with a member of our online Grief Healing Discussion Groups.

In Grief: What to Do With Cremation Ashes?

Recently I came upon a Facebook post linking the reader to an article entitled Vatican: No more scattering of cremation ashes. The article describes the Vatican's recently published (but long held) guidelines for Roman Catholics who wish to be cremated, noting that cremation ashes are not to be scattered, divided up among family members or kept at home. Instead, they are to be stored in a place the church approves as a "sacred place."

The angry responses generated by the post reminded me of an exchange I had a while ago with a member of our online Grief Healing Discussion Groups:

A reader writes: I am asking for some advice. My father passed away a few months ago and every day is a challenge. From the time that I can remember my dad used to say when he died he wanted to be cremated and his ashes spread in the Pocono mountains of Pennsylvania. My mom, sister, husband and I are going to do this for him in a few weeks. We have our plane tickets, rental car and hotel so we are good to go. I am very nervous about this. I feel like it will be very hard and I feel like he is dying all over again when I think about letting go of his ashes. I have heard that the ashes of a loved one can be placed in some kind of small trinket. I think I will probably just put them in some type of small urn for now and look into that later. Some people have given me funny looks when I said we are spreading my dad's ashes, but I am going to keep some. They said that it was strange to "split" him up like that. Can you offer some insight? Is it weird to be doing this??  Read on here >>>