Mourning a Sister’s Only Child: “Where Do I Fit In?”

A reader writes: Two months ago, my 21-year-old nephew, my sister’s only child, was killed in a car accident. I was 19 when he was born. I have feelings of love for him almost as if he were my own son. I can’t find others like me. I have searched a few online forums and it seems there isn’t a specific place for me to go. Where do I fit in? I am the aunt, not the mom or dad, not the brother or sister, not the grandma. I am overwhelmed with fear that something will now happen to one of my kids or to my husband, or even that I might be taken from them. Also, I feel so guilty—something similar to “survivor’s guilt.” I wonder how my sister can stand to look at me, at my 20-year-old daughter, at my 17-year old son. I don’t know how to understand why I get to keep my wonderful family and she has to give up the son she built her life around.  Read on here >>>

Caregiving and Hospice, June 22 - June 28, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

16 questions to ask when choosing a hospice, http://j.mp/1q1CcZK
« Kevin MD

Guided Imagery and PTSD: A Different Approach to Treatment, http://j.mp/1obt3fQ « NICABM

Beautiful: Before Night Falls: Hospice nursing in pictures, http://j.mp/1vf9C6H « The New York Times

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 22 - June 28, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Stephen Colbert: "If you try to ignore [grief], it will be like a wolf at your door." http://fb.me/2XE9gZW2Z « Longreads

8 Reasons We Don’t Help Grievers, http://j.mp/Vu9S7w « GriefMinisterDotCom

Beautiful piece: Do You See the Mystery? http://j.mp/1lsR3v6 « Open to Hope

Coping with Pet Loss, June 22 - June 28, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Saying Goodbye to the Family Pet: Reflections and Helpful Advice from a Veterinarian, http://j.mp/1viPpwY « New Orleans Moms Blog

Euthanasia: A Vet's Perspective, http://j.mp/1nYMR5R « The Conscious Cat

Disenfranchised Grief: When An Ex-Spouse Dies

A reader writes: I’m not really sure how to explain how I feel after losing my ex-spouse a month ago—especially since he died the same day I was having major surgery.  Read on here: In Grief: When An Ex-Spouse Dies

Caregiving and Hospice, June 15 - June 21, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Insurer Begins Huge Palliative Care Program,  http://j.mp/1rjm5WA « The Washington Post

Dying Well: Why We All Need to Have End of Life Conversations, http://j.mp/UVuRzZ « Ottawa Life Magazine

Why Are We in Denial About Death? http://j.mp/TeYMl3 « The Caregiver Space

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 15 - June 21, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Don't Be Afraid to Tackle the Mental Health Issues Associated With Grief, http://j.mp/1w4rTG6 « HuffPost Healthy Living

Game-Planning Your Grief: 5 Tips for Returning to Work, http://j.mp/1qxWqfn « Modern Loss

My Sister Died And I Waited Sixteen Years to Deal With It, http://j.mp/Tcj3b2 « The Grief Toolbox

Coping with Pet Loss, June 15 - June 21, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Pet Loss: Guilt in the Wake of A Kitten's Accidental Death, http://j.mp/1lHxBus « Grief Healing Blog

What to Do When You Learn Your Pet Has Cancer, http://j.mp/1qkk4vI « Veterinary Wisdom Professionals

Pet hospice helps with those tough goodbyes, http://j.mp/1leHhrk « CBS8.com

Pet Loss: Guilt in The Wake of A Kitten's Accidental Death

[Reviewed and updated September 9, 2025]

To live in this world

you must be able

to do three things:

to love what is mortal;

to hold it

against your bones knowing

your own life depends on it;

and, when the time comes to let it go,

to let it go. ~ Mary Oliver

A reader writes: I received a phone call last night from my frantic wife with my 13-year-old son screaming and crying in the background. He put the recliner chair down and it crushed his 12-week-old kitten.

Caregiving and Hospice, June 8 - June 14, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Life's Journey: A Better End: A Hospice Nurse's Frank Approach to End of Life, http://j.mp/1qLrgOI « Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

How Palliative Care Programs Drive Value, http://j.mp/1lqXhev « Health Leaders Media

Thanks for the compliment, but I'm not a nurse, http://j.mp/1sacHZv « Kevin MD