Helping a Grieving Parent

A reader writes - My mom died six months ago after a long battle with COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease). Knowing that she had a terminal illness and that she was in the end stages of this disease, our family agreed to take her off life supports. I thought I had this all figured out, her dying. I thought I was prepared for that day. Boy what a shock to myself. This has been the worst thing that I have been through. I miss my mom so much that I feel physically ill. I don't think you ever really get over it, just need to figure out how to live with it. Now I am very worried about my dad. He has shut down. He drinks too much. He sits on the couch watching TV. He says he has no ambition to do anything. He misses her badly and is very lonely. My adult children do not visit him because they don't know how to handle him. So I call everyday and visit, have him over two or three times a week for supper. I don't know how to help him start living again.

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 2 - October 8, 2011

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Free download: Mystie's Magical Message for grieving children, http://ow.ly/6Py6r by @BarbaraASimone

• Ain't No Sunshine: Men Reveal the Pain of Heartbreak, http://bit.ly/oeligm via @KindleCoyote

• Outstanding! How hospice helps with grief, in @upheremag http://bit.ly/oUrs9g via @OutCareTweets @virtualhospice

• Writing and Creative Expression in overcoming grief, http://ow.ly/6PzcH by @storyforhealing

• Grief and Children with Special Needs, bellaonline.com/articles/art56… by @DownSynAdvocacy

Caregiving and Hospice, October 2 - October 8, 2011

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Online Prescription Scams and Dangers http://bit.ly/oSQ9Uy RT @SilverPlanet

• Retired Seniors Might Be Answer to America's Aging Problem http://huff.to/nCbw4y via @CaringPeopleInc

• Today is Hospice and Palliative Care Day. Please share this video: http://bit.ly/hYxfEn from @ctffox via @aahpm

• 5 Life Lessons Learned from Grandparents | Maria Shriver, http://j.mp/oQ5Qdk

• Respite Care: A Break for the Caregiver (via AARP), http://ow.ly/6EtLR via @connectdforlife

Coping with Pet Loss, October 2 - October 8, 2011

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• How to ease the pain of losing a beloved pet, http://ow.ly/6PZi0 via @VillageMemorial

• Beautiful! Lessons learned from loving a dog, http://j.mp/qL9OGd

• Great information about Pet Hospice and the IAAHPC, http://ow.ly/6PrYr by Laurel Lagoni @VetWisdom

• End-of-Life Care for Animals, http://j.mp/oIgz4E

• Spirits In Transition weekend seminar on end-of-life care for animals, Dec 2-4, 2011, http://j.mp/reaMwJ

• Grief for dog inspired author Jon Katz to write Going Home: Finding Peace after Pet Loss, bit.ly/rfoiNx MT @JenMarsh2

• Grieving The Loss Of Your Special Pet? Attending a pet loss support group can help, http://j.mp/qCvEq2

End-of-Life Care for Animals

Find the latest version of this post here: 

End-of-Life Care for Companion Animals

Coping with the terminal illness of a cherished animal companion presents the same challenges to an animal lover as would anticipating of the death any other family member. Today hospice and palliative care for human beings provides a much needed service to the dying and to those who care for them, but finding such support for a beloved animal close to the end of life can be more difficult.

Reflecting a growing trend toward allowing companion animals a natural death at home, the concept of providing hospice and palliative care for our four-legged friends is similar to that offered for people. The focus is the same: on providing safety and comfort care in loving, familiar surroundings, rather than on aggressive treatment and cure in a hospital setting. Animal hospice is based on a belief that, with proper preparation and guidance for everyone involved, symptoms can be managed, pain can be controlled, and death can be experienced with dignity and compassion. In this way, pet hospice can be an effective alternative to euthanasia.  Read on here > > >

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 25 - October 1, 2011

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Lovely! What my Dad's dressing gown taught me about grief, http://bit.ly/mPOYbT by @Belinda_Pollard

• Great read! Making Sense of Surviving Your Friends, http://j.mp/oLlEjd by @friendgrief

• Three Ways To Help Children Turn Bad Grief Into Good Grief, http://ow.ly/6vvUL by @BarbaraASimone

• Helping Children Deal with Grief, http://ow.ly/6C8ug by @BarbaraASimone

• Coping Strategies for Bereaved College Students, http://j.mp/ofUIpD by @JeffsPlace

Caregiving and Hospice, September 25 - October 1, 2011

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Moving! Caregiving doesn't make you immune to needing care, http://bit.ly/ojM3Su by @StoryForHealing

• "Seemingly Innocent Boundary Violations and How to Avoid Them," http://fb.me/1b9UQJ9cM via @NHPCO_news

• Continuing series: Choosing music for selfcare or caregiving, http://bit.ly/nVUTUe by @RachelleNorman

• Beautiful post! 1 in 8 people: Could it Be You? http://wp.me/p1ROGI-I by @thezenblog

• Heartwarming story shows what hospice can do, http://bit.ly/ohZh1s via @leighanne41 @NHPCO_news

Coping with Pet Loss, September 25 - October 1, 2011

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Did My Cat Go to Heaven? | Open to Hope Foundation http://j.mp/qABDW4

• Works for pet loss too! On Grief and Grieving: Losing Friend Support, http://dlvr.it/nc80Q via @houstonfunerals

• Helping your child cope with pet loss: Sac Paws Pet Connection, http://j.mp/oiWCDo

• 3 new children's books on pet loss, http://tinyurl.com/3vccggd by @Books_Heal_Kids via @ecmmason

• Jon Katz's new book explores life after pets die, http://reut.rs/n05eLU via @_lizzy_ @reuters

After Death Communication, Continued

In earlier posts (After Death Communication and After Death Communication: A List of Resources)  I’ve shared my own special interest in this topic because, in my role as a grief counselor, I support grief-stricken individuals in their efforts to maintain loving connections with their deceased loved ones ~ including such post-death encounters as After Death Communications (ADCs).

I am drawn to and continually amazed by ADC stories, as the bereaved discover and describe the many ways their deceased loved ones still manage to communicate with them, sending messages of comfort and hope from beyond.

In addition to the resources listed in my earlier posts, I want to recommend two more books I’ve just finished reading. Both authors beautifully acknowledge the power of love in navigating their way through grief to hope, and describe in detail how they cultivated their ability to recognize the ongoing presence of their departed loved ones.  Their stories are personal, convincing, uplifting and life-affirming.

Caregiving and Hospice, September 18 - September 24, 2011

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• A Loveletter to Caregivers by Leeza Gibbons, http://j.mp/pZMbSe

• Have that crucial conversation with family members! http://goo.gl/n5eeC via @leighanne41

• Ask the right questions when choosing hospice care, http://bit.ly/neT2FW via @hospicepharmacy

• Hospice offers positive strategies for patients, caregivers at end of life, bit.ly/pKFSgy via @hospicepharmacy

• No Doubt, Hospice Gives Hope, http://bit.ly/nh5jin from @hospicedave via @hospice_news