In Grief: What's Age Got To Do With It?

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In Grief: Coping with A Stranger's Insensitivity

A reader writes: I am writing because I had a negative interaction with a store clerk about the death of my mother and I am stunned at how sensitive I am to the insensitivity of strangers. I need some kind of reality check.

My mother loved cardinals, and one day I went to a rather snooty boutique (my first mistake) in search of a gift for my mother's friend. I asked the clerk if they sold cardinal figurines at their store. She said although it was "an obscure question," she thought there might be a cardinal figurine in one of the cases, and invited me to look with her. I shared with her that my mother died two weeks ago and cardinals were her favorite birds. I explained that she had died a month after open-heart surgery, and the clerk said she was sorry. Then she said "How old was your mother?" I said that didn't matter. She was my mother. The clerk responded with "Look, I was only asking. Don't get snippy. My parents died in less than a year of each other. I know all about grief." Taken aback, I answered, "Oh, so now we're into 'my pain is greater than your pain'?" "No," she said, "but that's what you're doing." With that remark, I walked out of the store. Read on here 

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