Find the updated version of this post here:
A reader writes: My mom passed away 28 days ago. She was very sick and I took care of her for the last 10 years - she was living with me. I never left her alone, in fact our family dynamic changed because she was our priority. She was in the hospital for 12 days and everyday I was there for 12 to 13 hours, but could't stay overnight because I have a knee injury and it was necessary to rest my leg to be ready for the next day. On November 30th the doctors told me they couldn't do much for her, just wait to see what happened during the following 24/48 hours.
That day I was there for over 12 hours and a friend came and volunteered to stay with her that night. I did not want to leave...I knew she was dying...but I was in denial. I was expecting her to get better to take her home. I left the hospital at 8 pm, but inside of me I had the urgency to tell her how much I love her, and I did before I left that night. At 12:02 my mom passed away...and this is killing me!!! Why I did not stay with her, I'm the only daughter...it was my responsibility to stay, but I was afraid and in denial. She was alone, my friend left at 11:30 pm and I wasn't there. How can I take this guilt out of my chest...if she is not here to forgive me?
That day I was there for over 12 hours and a friend came and volunteered to stay with her that night. I did not want to leave...I knew she was dying...but I was in denial. I was expecting her to get better to take her home. I left the hospital at 8 pm, but inside of me I had the urgency to tell her how much I love her, and I did before I left that night. At 12:02 my mom passed away...and this is killing me!!! Why I did not stay with her, I'm the only daughter...it was my responsibility to stay, but I was afraid and in denial. She was alone, my friend left at 11:30 pm and I wasn't there. How can I take this guilt out of my chest...if she is not here to forgive me?
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment
Your comments are welcome!