Bereavement: Doing The Work of Grief

Find the latest version of this post here:

In Grief: Doing The Work of Mourning

A reader writes: It has been a year and 3 months since my best friend died. I think I've moved thru alot of the intensity of my grief and now what I feel left with is something similar to the wreckage after a train wreck. I feel so afraid...so removed from the person I used to be. I am not myself...my old self. I kinda expected that, but I feel so unmoved by life right now. Nothing seems to thrill me...in fact everything seems to be a struggle to do.

I have moments of feeling energetic and ok...but alot of this crappola too. I wonder if my mind is stuck in "negative" mode...am I pushing the grief too hard still, expecting myself to be free of it? Is it realistic to expect to feel joy and happiness and zest for life now...or do I need to cultivate that? My body feels like it has been beaten up, my mind feels like I'm missing a few screws. I am a mess..not sure where to start...not sure I have the energy to start. My body aches, I have headaches, weird stomach stuff...off balance somewhat. My muscles have never been so tense. I feel like i could collapse and at times that would be a welcome rest. I'm just feeling really crappy and now that alot of the dust has settled...I feel huge saddness and depression that my dearest friend died. I feel shell shocked. I don't know what I need. Is it normal to feel this way? How do I pick up and move on?

Pin It