Monday, February 3, 2020

In Grief: Coping with Father Loss

There is no expiration date on the love between a father and his child.
~ Jennifer Williamson

A reader writes: My dad passed away this past June, so I am looking for resources to help me on my journey. I found your website today, and it is wonderful! Thank you for all the hard work you put into it. I've signed up for one of your Discussion Groups and your Comfort for Grieving Hearts page is awesome. So I will be visiting often.

When Dad died, I lost my best friend. I was definitely a "Daddy's girl." He and I were so close. Since he died, I've been looking for books of comfort for daughters who have lost a father, but I haven't been able to find anything. I'm seeing a few things about fathers and sons and lots of things about mothers and daughters.....just not much for daughters. Can you help; are you aware of any titles? I'm journaling as I go along, so I thought I would try to write a book of meditations when I'm feeling better.

Thank you very much for your help. Oh, before I forget....I notice you also help people who have lost a pet. I wanted to share with you that two days after Dad's funeral, his dog Pepper died. Pep was always with Dad as he went around our farm doing chores. Now they've gone home together.

My response: I'm so very sorry to learn of the death of your beloved father; please accept my deepest sympathy. As a Daddy's Girl myself (my daddy died too soon, too, when I was 33), I can totally relate to the magnitude of this loss in your life and in your world. I am also touched to learn that your dad's beloved dog Pepper died just two days after your dad's funeral. My father was an animal lover as well, and it comforts me to picture him now united with all the wonderful dogs he loved and lost over the years. Makes me cry just to think about it!

I've just now done a quick search on Amazon using the key words "father daughter grief" and didn't come up with much ~ it seems that many of the newer books deal with the impact of losing of a father in early childhood, and I don't think that is what you're after. Notable exceptions are these, several of which I have read and can personally recommend:

Father Loss: Daughters Discuss Life, Love, and Why Losing a Dad Means So Much by Elyce Wakerman and Holly Barrett PhD

The Fatherless Daughter Project: Understanding Our Losses and Reclaiming Our Lives by Denna Babul RN and Karin Luise

Fatherless Women: How We Change After We Lose Our Dads by Clea Simon

Dead Dads Club: Stories of Love, Loss, and Healing by Daughters Who Have Lost Their Dads by Mary Burt-Godwin

Angels Don't Die: My Father's Gift of Faith by Patti Davis

If you click on the titles you can read Amazon's description and review of each.  That said, I think your idea of writing a book of your own is downright wonderful, and I can think of no greater tribute to your father than that.  Obviously, there is a void here ~ and maybe you're the one who is meant to fill it!

I am pleased that you found my Grief Healing website as well as our online Discussion Groups, and I hope in each place you will find the information, support and comfort you deserve.

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing NewsletterSign up here

© by Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT, BC-TMH

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