Coping with Bad Dreams and Nightmares in Grief

There are many who don't wish to sleep for fear of nightmares. Sadly, there are many who don't wish to wake for the same fear.  ~ Richelle Goodrich

A reader writes:  It's now been six months since my mother died. In many ways it seems like worlds and eons since then, but in some ways not at all. I really miss her and talking to her every few days, as was our old routine.  The problem I’m having is that I dream about her almost every night.  It's never the same scenario, except that she's always sick, like she was toward the end. Sometimes I wake up crying. This has been going on for pretty much the entire time since she died. Is this normal???  I think of her from time to time during the day, but not obsessively so. I'm able to function pretty well. So I'm wondering if this is normal and how much other people have a similar experience.

Coping with Dreams in Grief

[Reviewed and updated September 2, 2025]

I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time.  ~ A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

A reader writes: I'm pretty sure there are a lot of topics about this but I wanted to ask if others have these really vivid dreams in which their lost loved one was still alive, but after waking up you realize she's not there anymore. How do you deal with that and when did the dreams go away? The dreams are strangely comforting but the feeling when you wake up is just devastating.

Voices of Experience: One More River to Cross

Image by Joy Filomena

by Mary Jo Heyen

“Everything is upside down and I’m afraid of losing my balance…of falling.”

“I tell people I’m not afraid of dying but I am…”

“Here comes the grief and tears…”

“I feel lost but I know I’m not lost…”

“I could wake myself up when I was scared…but I can’t anymore…”

“My spirit is alive but my spirit can’t move my body…”

“I’m finding I’m feeling a bit less fear…”

“I have one more river to cross…the river Jordan”

“I feel the love…”

These are some of the words and experiences that unfolded over a two week period when I had the honor of being present with and exploring the many dreams and visions of a hospice patient, Gavin (name changed), until his death.

Nightmares and Bad Dreams in Grief

Image from Wikipedia

Find an updated version of this post here:

Coping with Bad Dreams and Nightmares in Grief

A reader writes:  It's now been six months since my mother died. In many ways it seems like worlds and eons since then, but in some ways not at all. I really miss her and talking to her every few days, as was our old routine.  The problem I’m having is that I dream about her almost every night.  It's never the same scenario, except that she's always sick, like she was toward the end. Sometimes I wake up crying. This has been going on for pretty much the entire time since she died. Is this normal???  I think of her from time to time during the day, but not obsessively so. I'm able to function pretty well. So I'm wondering if this is normal and how much other people have a similar experience.