Coping with Bad Dreams and Nightmares in Grief

There are many who don't wish to sleep for fear of nightmares. Sadly, there are many who don't wish to wake for the same fear.  ~ Richelle Goodrich

A reader writes:  It's now been six months since my mother died. In many ways it seems like worlds and eons since then, but in some ways not at all. I really miss her and talking to her every few days, as was our old routine.  The problem I’m having is that I dream about her almost every night.  It's never the same scenario, except that she's always sick, like she was toward the end. Sometimes I wake up crying. This has been going on for pretty much the entire time since she died. Is this normal???  I think of her from time to time during the day, but not obsessively so. I'm able to function pretty well. So I'm wondering if this is normal and how much other people have a similar experience.

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 11 - March 17, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grief Study: Invitation to Participate: Emotion Regulation in Bereavement, http://j.mp/2FMVqPb « University of Arizona

Learning to Sleep in Grief: Tips from a Widowed Pharmacist, http://j.mp/2FQ9Jml « Bryan C. Taylor

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 29 - November 4, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grief Woke Me Up and Now I Can't Go Back to Sleep, http://j.mp/2iueEyH « Second Firsts

Alison Miller: Ghost Dancing Into Our Forever, http://j.mp/2inqg6Q « Soaring Spirits International

Halloween Horror — Hurt or Help Your Grieving Friends, http://j.mp/2z1ZNUh « What to Say When Someone Dies

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Nightmares and Bad Dreams in Grief

Image from Wikipedia

Find an updated version of this post here:

Coping with Bad Dreams and Nightmares in Grief

A reader writes:  It's now been six months since my mother died. In many ways it seems like worlds and eons since then, but in some ways not at all. I really miss her and talking to her every few days, as was our old routine.  The problem I’m having is that I dream about her almost every night.  It's never the same scenario, except that she's always sick, like she was toward the end. Sometimes I wake up crying. This has been going on for pretty much the entire time since she died. Is this normal???  I think of her from time to time during the day, but not obsessively so. I'm able to function pretty well. So I'm wondering if this is normal and how much other people have a similar experience.

Tips for Coping with Sleeplessness in Grief

[Reviewed and updated: December 29, 2024] 

The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night’s sleep. ~ E. Joseph Lossman

A reader writes, “I  can't seem to get to sleep until after 3:00. I am tired all day, but I don't seem to be tired enough when everyone else is going to bed. I was having problems before my husband died, but now it is a LOT worse. Benedryl makes me sleepy but it has not helped at all. How long should I let this go on before being concerned?”

My response: Disruptions in normal sleep patterns are very common in the first weeks and months of grief. If you're having trouble sleeping, you might try some of the simple methods recommended by experts in accredited sleep centers: