Explaining Pet Loss to Children: Some Do's and Don'ts

[Reviewed and updated March 20, 2026]

Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies. ~ Edna St. Vincent Millay

Whether it’s a dog or a cat, a Guinea pig, a hamster or a goldfish, the death of a pet is often a young family’s first experience with significant loss. As a grief counselor who also specializes in pet loss, I am often asked by teachers, parents, grandparents and others how best to explain to children the death of a family pet. Here are the points I encourage them to consider.

Explaining Death To A Toddler

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[Reviewed and updated December 8, 2024]

Genuine listening [where parents listen respectfully to their children] requires being prepared to make new discoveries and to share sorrow and fear. This is difficult at any time; it is most difficult when the parent is in grief.  ~ David Peretz, MD

A reader writes: Basically, everything I’ve ever read recommends that a toddler not be shielded from the truth, and I believe that. However, there is a set of special circumstances here. My daughter saw her grandmother every day since she was born, as my mother cared for her while I was at work. The care-giving stopped abruptly last year. That has been very hard to deal with, but my older children were victims of a terrible crime by her husband, and for my younger child’s safety, I had to stop my baby from seeing her grandmother because my mother refused to leave this man. We didn’t have any luck explaining that to a toddler.