Find an updated version of this post here:
A reader writes: When you have a bajillion things that have to be done, but you can't do anything because grief has taken control of you, what gets you going again? I've been doing pretty well, two months into my journey. But I haven't done much with my husband's personal belongings. So far, I've been telling myself to wait to tackle all this until I feel stronger. But now I'm getting anxious that these tasks are piling up around me. I'm confused about what to do first, and my inner parent is telling me, 'These things won't go away, slacker. You have to do something about them, ASAP.'
Posts
So much wisdom in the suggestions above.....
ReplyDeleteWhat strikes me is, that there is also a WHY involved. The why you want to - or don't want to - or cannot - or can - sort your loved one's belongings differs. Therefore, one way of addressing it (besides doing it or not doing it depending on what is right for you) is to take a moment to look at the "why". Ask yourself: Why do I want to (or why do I not want to) do it? Remember, that whatever that "why" is for you at that moment is what it is - and it is OK. It can be helpful to be aware of it because it supports the inner process. But it doesn't mean that you need to change anything...
An excellent point, Halina, and I thank you for making it!
ReplyDeleteNothing Forgotten is a business that dispatches compassionate organizers to families who need the outside objectivity of what to keep and what to donate ... not withstanding, a lot of black garbage bags for the things that need tossing! (www.nothingforgotten.com)
ReplyDeleteAnother great resource for what to do with the more sensory-rich belongings of loved ones (like a breast pocket of a suit jacket that still smells of your Grandpa's tobacco) is BereavementArtists.com. Artists and artisans on this site fashion pieces of a loved one's belongings into everything from jewelry to pillows to urns.
I agree that you will know when "it is time". You will know, inexplicably, when the time comes.
ReplyDelete