Friday, October 15, 2010

Voices of Experience: Me? Need a Hospice Grief Counselor? No Way!

At a recent staff meeting, one of our hospice bereavement counselors shared a poem written by one of her clients, who kindly gave us permission to reprint it here:

"I don't need a counselor," my neighbor friend said.
"For someone to talk with? You're out of your head."
"I'd rather just cry -- or take a long walk.
Anything's better than having to talk."

"And what could she offer? What could she say?
To make me feel better? I'm really okay.
It's just that I'm lonesome, despondent, and blue,
And I get kind of angry -- a little bit -- too."

"And I seem so forgetful. How could that be?
My mind's not the same. It's worrying me."
I told her the counselor would just hold her hand,
And wipe away tears, and she'd understand.

"She'll tell you your feelings are normal these days.
And she'll make you feel better. She has many ways.
Just give it a try. You'll like her I know."
And my friend finally said, "I'll give it a go."

Then, later she asked me, "How come you could tell
She'd be all that helpful and make me feel well?
How could you know -- on her I'd depend?"
I smiled and said softly, "I've been there, my friend."

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  1. Marty, thanks for posting this. Brings up emotions each time I read it. I was so privileged to sit with this client and the counselor. Writing this broke a long dry spell after a lifetime of writing poetry (she is in her late 80's) and I know it expressed her own experience of accepting help during her bereavement. Kathy

  2. Kathy, dear, you are most welcome ~ and thank you for giving us a little more background about the author, which makes it even more special. The message in this poem just warms my heart, as I'm sure it did your own. It is my honor to be able to share it here. ♥

  3. All in all it was a great read. I found the whole experience to be very professional. Keep posting blogs like this. children and grief

  4. How can a grief counselor help me? Can he/she bring my loved one back to life? Can he/she help me kill myself? If people are choosing life, maybe they can get help one way or another; but if someone has decided to choose death, the only thing one can do is retreating to one's world and licking the wound in private... and waiting hopelessly and helplessly, in tears and despair and anger and sadness... till the Bell tolls.........

  5. My friend, I can feel the raw pain and sorrow in your comment, and I’m so very sorry for your loss. How I wish it were within my power to undo what’s happened to you. If I could wave a magic wand to reunite you with your loved one I would do it in a heartbeat ~ but that is not to be. You say you’ve decided to choose death instead of life, and I understand that everything looks hopeless to you now ~ but I hope with all my heart that you will allow yourself to be surrounded with the loving care and support you need and deserve ~ and that kind of support is readily available to you this very moment. You will find it when you place yourself in the midst of others who are walking the same path as you are. When it seems as if no one on this earth can comprehend the magnitude of your grief, you can surround yourself with those who have been where you are now, and I promise you won’t feel so alone. I invite you to join our online Grief Healing Discussion Groups, which are available to you at no cost, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Read more about us here:


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