Pet Loss: The Pain of Relinquishment

[Reviewed and updated June 12, 2022]

Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it. ~ Ann Landers

A reader writes: I have had lots of animals all my life, raised English setters and had lots of cats and farm animals. I am in the process of selling our farm, my husband retiring and we will be moving to a different area. We realized that we could not take our pets with us.

Caregiving and Hospice, February 21 - February 27, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Palliative and hospice care for children and families, http://j.mp/1QDWrGA « Ladybug House

Discharge planning: Being Superman, http://j.mp/1OhrH2V « GeriPal

Available: Volunteers to Help You Find Help, http://j.mp/1Q5bOdY « CareGiving.com

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 21 - February 27, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

You Do Not Have to Be Good, http://j.mp/1oGrcEu « HuffPost Power of Humanity

When is Grief Finished? http://j.mp/1OBnYHk « GriefMinisterdotcom

Take Your Grief Emotions Inventory! http://j.mp/24tr5Na « GriefMinisterdotcom

Voices of Experience: No One Told Me My Mother Had Died

by Barbara Donsky

For a child, the death of a loved one is a life-changing event that has been likened to an amputation. And like an amputation, there is no going back to what had been. Instead, there is the painful memory captured in a sweeping emptiness. 

In A Grief Observed, written after the death of his wife, Joy, to cancer, the British poet, essayist and philosopher C. S. Lewis wrote: “No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear.” For children, this gut-wrenching fear—What’s happening to me? —is often accompanied by loss of appetite, an inability to sleep, difficulties in concentrating and aimless searching. All are part and parcel of what bereavement experts call ‘the chaos of grief.’ If left untreated, unresolved grief in young children can result in lowered grades and in withdrawing from family and friends. In older youth, there can be more reckless behaviors including drug/alcohol abuse and promiscuity.

When my mother disappeared on a bright November day, no one told me she had died.

Caregiving and Hospice, February 14 - February 20, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

Music Therapy Works Better Than Relaxation Exercises In Improving Health Of Palliative Care Patients, http://j.mp/1HDbAuc « Medical Daily

Music for Dementia Patients, https://youtu.be/SdammRGKeZk « YouTube

No words..."The Life of Death," https://vimeo.com/154739710 « Vimeo

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 14 - February 20, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

Oh For Goodness Sake – Stand At My Grave and Weep Already!  http://j.mp/24eplHA « Full Voice— Barbara McAfee

Valentine Grief - Healing Through A Gift of Love, http://j.mp/1WpSwli « Journey Through Loss

In Grief: When Faith and God Don't Make Sense, http://j.mp/1PzkJEc « Grief Healing

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.

If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Coping with Pet Loss, February 14 - February 20, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

How Do You Help a Child Say Goodbye to a Pet? http://j.mp/1oN03QA « Suzanne J. Bayer, LLC

My Pets Are My Kids! [and my grief is real], http://j.mp/1Q3DGjW « The Huffington Post

NEW! Legacies of Love Audio Book on CDs, http://conta.cc/1T0efAO « Animals in Our Hearts

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.

If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

In Grief: When Faith and God Don't Make Sense

 [Reviewed and updated May 6, 2024]

. . . Vulnerability to death is one of the given conditions of life. We can't explain it any more than we can explain life itself. We can't control it, or sometimes even postpone it. All we can do is try to rise beyond the question, "Why did it happen?" and begin to ask the question, "What do I do now that it has happened?"  ~ Rabbi Harold Kushner

A reader writes: Exactly one month ago at 1:30 in the morning, I got the call from my mama who said, "she's gone, she's gone!" Just waking up and not believing the words I was hearing, I dropped to my knees as my heart pounded crazily in my chest.....We buried my sister 4 days later.

Caregiving and Hospice, February 7 - February 13, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

In Palliative Care, Comfort Is the Top Priority, http://j.mp/1LlrXI2 « The New York Times

Alzheimer’s and Hospice Approval Denied, http://j.mp/1WgynxX « Hospice Times

Living with cancer: don't call us survivors, http://j.mp/1Q7zO3o « Stan Goldberg, PhD

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 7 - February 13, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

Grief Rituals Can Help on Valentine's Day, http://bit.ly/gZTzkp « Grief Healing

What is the Stress of Grief Doing to Me? http://j.mp/1QcxurQ « GriefMinisterdotcom

The Reality of Growth and Grief: Where the Hell Is My Rainbow? http://j.mp/1Qcx1WI « What's Your Grief?

Coping with Pet Loss, February 7 - February 13, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

Some Companies Now Offering Pet Bereavement Days For Grieving Employees, http://j.mp/1Kh641A « CBS New York

Pet Loss: Providing for Pet Care in Your Absence, http://j.mp/1SZkggY « Grief Healing

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.

If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Pet Loss: Providing for Pet Care in Your Absence

Source

Forewarned, forearmed; to be prepared is half the victory.  ~ Miguel de Cervantes

When my father died of a heart attack several years ago, my family was totally unprepared. I lived several states away at the time, and in all the confusion, shock and sadness that surrounded his sudden and unexpected death, some decisions were made in haste by other family members, with little or no opportunity for any input from me.

Caregiving and Hospice, January 31 - February 6, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

Lessons learned when a doctor's wife is hospitalized, http://j.mp/1nRRPq7 « The Washington Post

Advice to the Presidential Candidates on End-of-Life Care Issues, http://j.mp/1nQT88M « Pallimed

How Assumptions About Dying Can Negatively Affect Patient Care, http://j.mp/1KmNjcQ « Pallimed

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 31 - February 6, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grief is physical. http://j.mp/1PZRyYc « lifewithoutjudgment

Modern Loss' Grief Reads, http://j.mp/23PGY0h « Modern Loss

Adam Ruins Everything: How Funerals Completely Rip Us Off, http://j.mp/1St1hNA « SevenPonds Blog

Coping with Pet Loss, January 31 - February 6, 2016

Best selection from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Pet loss hotline has been offering support for 20 years, http://j.mp/20eC1t8 « Community Advocate

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.

If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

In Grief: Finding New Love After The Death of A Spouse

Source

[Reviewed and updated October 10, 2023]

A reader writes: I have insight into my growth through grief these past 2 years. At first it was a tight shell around me, I couldn't let anyone in. Now it's a softer cocoon. I empathize with newly bereaved in a way I never got before. I sit, I'm patient, I listen.

I feel room in my heart for a new life partner while maintaining my connection with my deceased husband. How did I get here? I met a guy, a widower, he gets it! He gets me. I get him. It's new, I'm hopeful. I miss my deceased husband daily and I'm "in like" with a new man. I have room in my heart yet it feels awkward -- and hopeful.